Something Beautiful
by TheLyrabird
Summary: An intense look into Beca's mind starting in the first movie, moving into PP2. Beca thinks she's straight, trying to navigate what she wants from college the Bellas, from Jesse, and from Chloe. Beca falls in love with the way that Chloe loves music. Story is going to start out with a slow build, just bumped to M
1. Chapter 1

Fic Description: an intense look into Beca's mind starting in the first movie, moving into PP2. Beca thinks she's straight, but like a lot of things at Barden, Chloe makes her question that. Bechloe end game. Basically my attempt to write what I feel like is reflective/realistic progression of the characters in the story to an end that would satisfy me, since I am not hopeful that the franchise will ever do anything more to us than shipbait us.

This is also the first fic I've written in 10 years (I was 13). I'm definitely a better writer than I was then, but I have a lot higher standards since I've read a lot of amazing fics since then, so I'm highly critical of my own writing, any reviews or constructive criticism you guys could give would mean a lot to me.

* * *

Her head buzzed as she walked away.

 _What had just happened?_

That crazy girl from the activities fair had barged into her shower and forced her to sing with her. In the moment her thoughts had mostly been occupied with trying to reveal as little of her body as possible, hiding, getting the girl to leave.

 _Where was that rape whistle when you needed it?_

She was gone now, and Beca was left with a strange feeling. Everyday she went to class, walked around campus, looking past the faceless crowds of people rushing past—each with their own plans, friends, dreams, and agendas that had nothing to do with her.

"You know Beca, DJing is not a profession, it's a hobby"

The look on her father's face when he stood in her dorm room on the first day and said that squeezed her heart and hardened her. He was just another person who didn't _get_ it. Music was everything to Beca, it was her constant companion, and it certainly had been there when her father had not.

She walked back into her room, set down her things and grabbed her headphones. Lying down on her bed, she flipped through her iPod and nestled in, closing her eyes. As the music began to wash over her she felt it—the resonance of the soul in the beats, the melody, between the words of the song that always brought her home. She was alone, but she never felt alone when the words in her ears could say exactly what she knew.

The world was full of people who were missing it. Her dad, Kimmy-Jin, her professors—everyone looked at her like she was some lost puppy that needed to be fixed. What they didn't know is that she was looking back at them seeing what they couldn't, that there was something in this world worth fighting for, worth taking the hard road for—beauty, music, hope. To fight to feel what she did when she found the perfect mix for a song, to listen back to something amazing and beautiful and know that you were in it, a part of it.

Beca woke the next morning; light was streaming through the window, to the sound of Kimmy-Jin leaving for class, the door shutting behind her as she rushed out. The headphones had awkwardly slipped off one of her ears and the band was jabbing into her neck. She sat up and felt the cable under her back and felt around for her iPod to see what time it was—8:57AM. Her first class wasn't until 12 today. She took the headphones off and pulled the cable out from under her and lay back down closing her eyes. The events of last night replayed in her mind. What could only be described as the sound of gravel personified into feeling crunched around the bottom of her stomach. The bright blue eyes staring at her through the foggy haze of steam, even the panic replayed in her body of being exposed, nude in front of this stranger. Her words bouncing off the hard tiles around reverberated in her mind.

 _How high does your belt go?_

 _You have to audition for the Bellas!_

The smirk on her face, the wink, and the way she stood there patiently, and she opened her mouth and sang.

Beca squeezed her eyes harder, burying into her bed, the way their voices had blended in that shower, the beating of her chest. She felt like her whole body was vibrating, but she was still.

 _… I am titanium_

Her stomach was doing back flips, jumping, fingers twitching.

 _I'm pretty confident about, all this._

Her eyes snapped wide open, and she let out a breath. Her last words echoed in her mind— _See you at auditions!_

What the fuck.

* * *

Beca lay there for a few more minutes and then got up. Looking around she thought, Kimmy Jin is gone, time to actually listen to some music. She went to her desk and pulled up Kanye's "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy". Making her bed, getting her books together for class, putting on her clothes, she grabbed her toothbrush for a quick rinse before hurrying back to catch "All of the Lights"

Bouncing a little, her head nodded as she slung her bag on, grabbing her iPod to pull up the rest of the album while she closed the laptop to slip into her bag and turned of her speakers, headphones on. She locked the door behind her.

Her classes were finished, and now she was trying to figure out where this damn auditorium where auditions were. She stood in front of a map of campus trying to find the "Performing Arts Center" feeling self-conscious.

 _I must look like such a noob freshman. It's a month into classes, and it looks like I still don't know where the fuck I'm going._

Her eyes scanned down the building list on the bottom.

 _Where the fuck is this damn building. This is turning into way more trouble than this is worth—_ She spotted it finally. It _would_ be on the other side of campus, and she was running late already.

 _Why is this damn University so big._

She marched across the quad past the student activities center towards a long set up steps.

 _Seriously? Why am I still doing this?_

Eventually she arrived, the building had several entrances, and she weaved her way through the lower levels, a number of music classrooms and practice rooms before hearing the distant echoes of Fat Amy's bellowing rendition of "Since You Been Gone".

The singing became louder and louder as she followed the sound of voices. She opened a door and walked into the backstage, standing in the wings awkwardly. Had she just heard some dude say that the auditions were finished?

 _I guess it wasn't meant to be. If only I could find some way to slink away without anybody noticing-oh hey!_

Beca caught the eye of the redhead that had accosted her in the shower and waved sheepishly. She dragged her feet across the stage. The redhead with the big blue eyes looked straight at her, and the moment they had shared flashed in her mind.

Beca knew she couldn't do this with her looking at her like that, she dropped her eyes and saw the cup on the table and grabbed it. She kept her eyes down on the yellow cup before her, terrified to look up at the people in the audience, most of all the redhead. If she had, she would've seen Aubrey's face, filled with uncertainty, disappointment at the corner of her eyes, and curiosity, and Chloe's face shining.

When she went home that night and lay down in bed. Maybe for the first time she thought that it might be kind of fun to be a part of something, but she tried to push it down

 _I probably won't make it anyway_.

So with an unexpressed amount of surprise, Beca found herself kidnapped with a pillowcase over her head, dragged with all the too much ceremony to what she discovered later to be a practice space.

* * *

The weird initiation ceremony confirmed all of Beca's suspicions that everyone else in the group took all of this a lot more seriously than she was comfortable with as evidenced by her frequent eye rolls. The girls were jumping and cheering around her. Beca feigned excitement; clapping her hands and awkwardly smiling at the estrogen fueled screeching women celebrating next to her. They made their way to the amphitheater where the party had obviously already started.

So this was college, it was everything one would have expected from all the media depictions-dancing, a keg, and lots of people looking to make some regrets. She didn't belong here with these light hearted happy singing people, she had dreams, she had goals, she didn't have time to be wasting guzzling down beer and grinding on drunk tenors just to wake up with another night lost in the morning.

"I don't know what I'm doing here," said Beca, more to herself than anyone else.

Fat Amy replied, "Living the dream! Still can't believe they let my sexy fat ass in here."

Beca turned away, this might be the dream for them, but this wasn't what the dream looked like for her-this was just high school 2.0.

She heard her name being yelled like a terrible bird cry and turned to see that Jesse kid approaching her with so much hope on his little face. She shuddered as his volume failed to decrease while his proximity to her face increased. This kid was drunk, and now he was trying to flirt with her.

 _This isn't your all American coming of age college boy meets girl falls in love story, Jesse. I'm not that girl; I'm not your girl, your acagirl who will have your acababies._

Best to let him down Beca thought.

 _I'm not going to let him get any grand ideas that I would be that girl. Poor kid, let's save him some heartache, and maybe a hangover if possible._

"Can I get you a drink?"

"Sure."

 _It'll give him something to do._

 _If I'm here, I might as well play along and participate so that I can say that I tried, though I'm sure that underage drinking wasn't what my father meant when he told me to "get involved"._

As Jesse made his way towards the keg to get her a drink, Beca saw Chloe approaching her as well with the spring in her step that she was learning all too quickly was so distinctively "Chloe" when the ginger grabbed her two hands pulling her in, almost causing her to lose her balance. Her face was inches from hers. Obviously, Jesse was not the only one who had had something to drink, but as Beca looked down into the face of the beaming senior she caught no whiff of drink on her breathe. She couldn't help but smile at the wide-eyed enthusiasm and innocent hope she was coming to know all too well. Chloe's affection was there leaning in without any aid of alcohol.

"I'm so glad that I met you.."

Despite the events of the evening so far feeling reluctant and potentially regrettable, Beca knew in that moment that she was glad to have met the redhead too. She was certainly making things interesting. She leaned in even more,"…I think we're going to be really fast friends"

Beca half laughed, "Yeah!" this girl certainly knew how to grab you and pull you in-"Well, you saw me naked!" She gave her a wink. What else could you do in the face of someone so affectionate but play along?

She tilted her head and smiled incredulously unsure of where any of this was going. Chloe ran her hands down her arms, pulling back a little, telling Beca she was going to get a drink and slapping her own ass. Beca shook her head a little in a daze, who WAS this girl?

She felt like the only sane person in a crowd of people trying to get their crazy on, as evidenced to her when Jesse came over and screamed about being king of campus. Beca looked around, was she the only person witnessing this boy make a compete fool of himself? It was a bit surreal. The music came back up and the whole crowd proceeded to sing together as one drunken mass.

But you gotta keep your head up, oh,

And you can let your hair down, eh

You gotta keep your head up, oh,

And you can let your hair down, eh

Beca smiled, something she wouldn't have admitted to anyone, least of all Jesse. _It_ _wasn't so bad. Even if all these people are crazy, at least they really do love their music._

* * *

The next morning the Bellas had their first rehearsal; she sat down in as far in the back as she could. When Aubrey kicked out that poor girl for hooking up with a Treble, she leaned looked around in disbelief.

 _How is it possible that these people take all of this so seriously, it's just a bunch people doing awkward choreography while making music with their mouths?_

Her disbelief was only extended when Aubrey began to outline their intense rehearsal schedule and "extra cardio" to her.

Beca spent the rest of the grueling rehearsal weighing whether all of this was worth it, worth trying to convince her father that she had really tried. She would look around at all the other girls and see Chloe, looking peppy and perfect and smiling. Beca'd catch her eye and Chloe would nod back at her with an encouraging look.

Things were trudging along until they got kicked out of their first gig. As Aubrey began to chew Chloe out, Chloe revealed that she had nodes. For the first time, when Beca searched for Chloe's reassuring face she was hit with a sense of intense dread. What nodes were, Beca had no idea, but from the look on everyone's faces it was like Chloe had just uttered that she was dying.

Beca- "What are nodes?"

Aubrey- "Vocal nodules. The rubbing together of your vocal cords at above-average rates without proper lubrication. "

"They sit on your windpipe and they crush your dreams." Interjected Chloe. Beca was confused," Isn't that painful? Why would you keep performing?"

Chloe, "Because I love to sing."

When Beca walked away that day and headed to the radio station for her shift of CD stacking, Chloe's words echoed in her mind.

 _Because I love to sing_

What would she do if the thing she loved so much caused her pain? What if every time she sat down and mixed a song she got a terrible headache, would she still do it?

She stepped on an extra crunchy leaf, opened the door to the station and walked in. Jesse was already there, looking at her with that goofy look. She wasn't really in the mood for this—cheery flirtyness. She couldn't help but give him a small smile; he really was trying so hard. Beca couldn't figure it out, was this some sort of attempt to meet cute his way into her heart.

 _Why had this guy not gotten the picture yet, was he just that dense? I'm not here to be your college sweetheart; I'm not even planning on staying here for more than a year._

This was confirmed to her when she was sitting on the quad one day working on a mix and he assaulted her with a caprisun and tried to show him how he was a happy shiny music movie lover too with ambitious dreams that were supposed to make her swoon.

"I want to score movies when I grow up"

Beca sucked on her juice pouch, _when you "grow up"_. She wasn't a kid; she wasn't waiting around so that one day she could _grow up_. There was no magical land of when you grow up, but she couldn't bring herself to step on the happy go lucky cheery kid sitting before her.

"Yeah. You must really sweep your girlfriend off her feet."

"I don't have a girlfriend"

"But you have juice pouches and Rocky" she said sarcastically.

Though Beca wouldn't have admitted it, it was kind of nice to hear that she wasn't the only person around here who wanted to make music, but Jesse was just that, another person caught in the saccharine of Hollywood.

"The endings are the best part."

 _"No, the endings aren't the best part,"_ thought Beca, " _They're just setting you up for a let down because let's be real, there are no endings, life just goes on from one heartbreak and disappointment to another and go round and round again in the circle game"_

Real music told the reality of pain and sorrow and suffering, when a song ended it didn't lie to you and tell you everything was alright, it just moved onto the next track. An album wasn't an emotional manipulator, as a part of a larger scheme to convince you that the same old story you were watching wasn't going to end predictably. Music just was.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 (Revised)

y'all, I had so much fun writing the Bechloe scene =) Hopefuly it'll finally give you a taste of what else is to come!

* * *

"What the hell is a riff off?"

Beca found out what a riff off was. It was all a little overwhelming at once, people jumping in and out pulling songs out of their ass. She turned to Chloe

"So we just pick any song that works?"

"Yeah, any song"

"And you just go with it? Nice."

Beca was excited, now this was getting her blood pumping. She felt the harmonies reverberating off the walls of the empty swimming pool onto her buzzing skin. Finally! She had found something exciting worth being in the Bellas for. Songs were whizzing past her, Jesse's puppy dog looks were being sent her way too. This kid really was too much, "I guess it's just the woman in you that brings out the man in me"? Beca needed to wipe that look off his face. It was time to show him what he was messing with, so she jumped in with the perfect song, a huge smile on her face.

Her rap echoed off the hard walls, she spun around looking for her back up. Everyone was just staring at her, but she went on. She looked back around at Jesse, "Go on".

So she did, she heard Fat Amy join in behind her, and Chloe brought the rest of the Bellas in. Beca's heart was pumping as the rest of the crowd joined her voice. She laughed, this was crazy. The look on Jesse's face kept pushing her—now he knew what he was messing with. She looked around the rest of the pool; all the other groups were joining in now. This was amazing. Everyone was dancing now. She brought it back around to her girls, and ended on the perfect hit-

"We out"

It sucked that they had lost, but damn, fire was coursing through Beca's blood. She had never sung like that in front of a crowd and just felt the energy of it being given back to her. She looked around at the other Bellas, was anyone else feeling what she was feeling?

"Hey guys, what we just did was great, right? "

"Calm your tits Beca, we still lost." Aubrey shot back.

"Yeah but it was spontaneous. It was awesome. We were actually listening to…" Aubrey cut off Beca again with another failed attempt to "Ahhhhh" in harmony.

Beca slinked off after that confused.

 _Why are we doing this crap when we could be making music like that?_ She felt a hand on her arm and turned around, it was Chloe with her face shining. She started to walk alongside Beca through the deserted campus.

"Beca, I just wanted to tell you that that was amazing. It's crazy, I think that's possibly the best we've sounded all year"

"Right? I don't get why Aubrey—" Chloe grabbed her hand and interjected, "Did you feel it?"

Beca halted, turned and blinked, staring into Chloe's big blue eyes, swallowing her. Her heart was pounding, "feel it?" she whispered back.

"The music" said Chloe, smiling back.

Beca looked down for a second, paused, and raising her head back up looked back at her smiling trying to ignore the ache that was settling somewhere between the bottom of her heart and the top of her stomach, "Yes."

"It's amazing isn't it? The rush, the music, just all of it washing around you." Beca's eyes flitted across Chloe's face, studying her eyes, her mouth. She paused and slowly let out a soft, "Yeah."

Beca tilted her head and opened her mouth a little, looking at Chloe, trying to see her. Her brows furrowed just the slightest before breathing through her opened mouth and said, "You really love it, the singing I mean." A huge smile broke across her face, Chloe looked back at her, with her sweet smile, "Of course," the bright blue eyes looked straight back into Beca's, "and you do too." Chloe squeezed Beca's hand and edged closer to her, bumping her shoulder against Beca's," I saw it on your face."

Beca turned her head away and began walking again, slipping her hand away to tuck a stray hair behind her ear, "I guess I do."

In that moment, she remembered Chloe's nodes and her words. Chloe skipped back next to her, grabbing her hand again, lacing their fingers swinging it back and forth. She leaned her head against Beca's shoulder, "I knew you would."

Beca sighed. They kept walking together until they reached Beca's dorm. Chloe turned to Beca, tilting her head down towards her, their faces were close. Beca could feel her heart beating, she was holding her breath as Chloe closed her eyes and smiled, "Thank you for taking a chance on the Bellas. I know that up until tonight you weren't sure why you were here, and now you know what I knew—that you belong with us."

Beca bit her lip and looked back at Chloe and softly replied through her breath, "Thanks."

The crystal blue eyes sparkled back at her and said, "Goodnight". Then she looked up, and Beca froze, holding her breath, and swallowed. Chloe smiled and squeezed her in a tight hug and kissed her on the cheek. Beca slowly let her breath out, "Goodnight to you too Chloe, thanks for everything."

She walked into her room, Kimmy Jin was on her laptop doing homework, none of the lights were on. She sat down on her bed and put her headphones on- Closest I Get by Katie Herzig. She breathed in and breathed out. Tonight was the first night that any of it, college, the Bellas had felt like anything worth wasting her time on. She closed her eyes, and the scene minutes ago replayed in her head again and again. She saw Chloe's smile. She remembered the moment she'd jumped in on Jesse and the awe in his eyes.

Beca felt a pang in her stomach

 _What if the closest I get to the moment is now?_

 _What if I gave you half just to keep me whole?_

She'd seen something in Chloe's eyes, a sadness. She could see the ache in her smiles, the need to feel the music, to be the music, to surround yourself in that beauty at any cost-even personal pain.

Beca glanced over at Kimmy Jin sitting with the glow of her netbook on her face. The girl was only 7 feet away from her but she felt like she was on a completely different plane of existence. Where was the struggle, the pain, the drowning under the desperation of just existing? Who knew that, who saw it, and felt it? She couldn't connect with most people, she didn't have the words to say to make them feel warm fuzzies, but tonight she had seen an entire swimming pool of people sing with her because they had felt what she had felt, and they were singing what she was singing. Music might have been the thing that kept her from everyone else, headphones, acoustical walls sealing her off from the people around her, but when she sang, she felt something connecting her to all these strangers, and in that sea of faces was Chloe, beaming at her.

Music was the only thing in her life holding her down, keeping her from floating away.

It was also the only thing pushing her to get out of this place.

It also seems like the only reason she had to hope she might walk away from this place with more than some weird memories and a tacky flight attendant outfit.

 _I guess those aca-people deserve a chance._

* * *

For those of you who already caught the original chapter 3, I did some shuffling last night and combined the original chapter 1&2 and made chapter 3 into chapter 2. So when I post chapter 3, it'll be a new one. Sorry this is all kind of confusing, I'm figuring out how long I want chapters to be and serializing is definitely a different process than just plain writing a story out! I hope y'all will forgive me.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

* * *

"Tell me. What does Judd Nelson eat for breakfast?"

"Well, like all misunderstood rebels, he feeds on hypocrisy."

Jesse was in her room. Well, actually, she had invited him over. She was starting to feel bad, and after the riff off the night before when he had told her to "go on," she felt like he deserved a chance. He seemed mildly interested in listening to her talk about the process of mixing, mostly he just seemed over the moon that she had initiated some sort of contact with him. After all, she should give it the old college try. After all, bringing a boy into your room to "listen to music" and "watch a movie" was pretty classic, and she was ready to give it a chance. He liked her music, that was a nice feeling, she wasn't going to deny it. In his words it was, "amazing". Which of course made him feel like he had the right to get her to watch a movie, and she was entertaining him, which is how they ended up here, watching the end of _The Breakfast Club_.

"…And black coffee to help him with his morning dumps."

"You're an idiot. "

"It's true. I'm full of fun facts."

"You should let other people tell you they're fun."

In the darkness, she looked over at him, the light from his laptop shining on his face. He was cute, she wasn't going to deny that. He had those boyish good looks, and he could sing, and he was nice, so nice, almost too nice. She could definitely have chosen a worse guy to try with. His hand raised in a little fist at the same time the character on the screen's did. That was cute.

He turned, and almost caught her staring at him—"You're missing the ending."

"Sorry."

She saw his eyes flicker to her mouth, and she looked at his, knowing where this was going. He started to lean in, she had a split second to make a decision

She turned away, back to the movie.

"It's good. I'm sure the beginning is…"

Then the lights came back on, and Kimmy Jin entered with two of her friends. Jesse got up, "and I'm out."

He got up and walked away, "Always a pleasure, Kimmy Jin. So…Excuse me" he turned and Beca caught the pained look on his face.

He shut the door behind him; Beca sat still, staring into the negative space that had been Jesse. _What just happened?_

She hadn't wanted to hurt Jesse, but she didn't want to lead him on. She had finally given him and chance, and how he was moping like a puppy who had just been kicked the second she had simply deflected one advance. She lay down on her bed, putting her headphones on like she did every night before falling asleep, and closed her eyes.

* * *

The next day at rehearsal, they were running through their newest arrangement. Beca could hear the strain on Chloe's voice. Beca couldn't help but feel flattered when Chloe suggested that Beca take her solo instead and sticking up for her when she suggested a new song and arragnement. Unfortunately, her suggestions were shot down again. She zipped up her hoodie and hooded up as she went outside to the cold midwinter wind. This had been a chance to try and mix things up a bit, but to no ones surprise Aubrey had shot them down. Beca smiled into the wind; at least Chloe had tried to back her up on it.

Regionals came, and Beca flight attendant suit-ed up. She was glad that Fat Amy had ended up with the solo. She was happy to see her friend kicking ass and taking names. She had stolen the performance. That girl had the balls to do what Beca knew she could only hope of doing. Fat Amy knew what was up. Fat Amy was also kind of nuts and gotten her involved in a crazy ass kicking fight. The night had ended with her in jail somehow and an argument with Jesse and her father.

"I was just trying to help you."

"I don't need your help, you're not my boyfriend."

The words hit him. He looked stunned like she had just hit him on the head with a bag of bricks. But what had Jesse expected? Jesse wasn't her boyfriend, and he seemed really upset about that. She was only stating the obvious. He had no right, to piss all over her like some piece of property just because she took a juice pouch from him one time.

Also her father, she seemed to have pissed off all the men in her life who both seemed very intent on saving her from herself, to worming their way into her life. Everyone seemed to think that they knew what was best for her, everyone wanted to tell her what to do. Just because she had invited Jesse over one time, just because she had agreed to her father's terms, one year of college and then LA-they seemed to have interpreted that one yes to one thing as a yes to anything and everything they wanted. Then when she actually did what they said in her own way, it wasn't enough, it didn't look the way they wanted, _she_ didn't look and act the way they wanted. Whenever the world didn't go their way, they would throw a fit. That's what men do since they've never learned to live with their own disappointments.

"Dad it's not a big deal. "

"Yeah it is a big deal. I get a call in the middle of the night saying my daughter's been arrested for destruction of property. "

"It was a misunderstanding and I was protecting my friends. I was putting myself out there. Making memories. "

 _I take a chance, I'm caring, I'm finally caring and this is what it's getting me-locked up and in a pissing match with you. All of that bullshit that you're always telling me to do, I finally start committing something and this bullshit happens. I'm never going to win with you._

"If you think I'm paying for you to go to LA after a stunt like this, I'm not. Get in the car. "

"You're not even gonna hear what I have to say about this? "

"No, not tonight. Just get in."

Her dad wasn't going to listen to her, but when she got home she found all the Bellas sitting on her bed waiting for her.

Chloe was beaming at her, "of course we waited up for you."

Beca looked around at the girls. For the first time she cared if they won or lost, and she was willing to do something about it. Fully aware of the wrath of Aubrey she was sure she'd incur for interrupting Aubrey's rant about sticking to planned choreography, she opened her mouth, "The audience love the Trebles, they _tolerate_ us. We could change the face of a cappella if we…"

Beca was overwhelmed, when did she start caring so much about 'making music with her mouth'"-Oh my god, that sounded so queerballs. What's happening to me?"

She walked over to her setup at her desk, "Um..let me show you this arrangement I've been working on"

Chloe's perked up, her face lit with curiousity, "I didn't know you were into this stuff."

Beca's stomach exploded; Chloe was into it. She looked to Aubrey to see if there was any chance that… but there wasn't. Aubrey was shutting it down, looking into the eyes of every Bella to tell them to kiss goodbye to their social lives, boyfriends, and grades. Chloe was trying to hide the disappointment from her face.

After Aubrey's announcement that rehearsal would be at 8AM the next morning, the rest of the girls filed out, hugging each other and wishing each other goodnight, but Chloe lingered until it was only her and Beca in the room alone. Chloe was sitting in front of her desk quietly, looking at the floor. Beca walked over and leaned against the edge, and Chloe looked up.

"I'm so sorry about Aubrey."

She started taking off the ridiculously uncomfortable Bella uniform, starting with the heels. She began to unbutton her shirt, "Is it okay if I?" she said, gesturing to her state of dress towards Chloe, "Sure," she replied in a monotone voice, looking straight ahead.

"I just got to get out of these clothes man." replied Beca, unzipping the pencil skirt. Beca looked up for a second in the middle of pulling her skirt off, lifting her hands up like claws, "How do you put up with the—argghhhh!?"

Chloe turned back towards Beca, bringing her hand up to her face, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear as Beca straightened up, her fingers just grazing Beca's face. Beca took in a sharp intake of breath, turned away, and pulled on a pair of pajamas as Chloe spoke, "it's complicated. We've been friends forever."

"That doesn't mean she should be able to walk all over you Chloe. This group is as much yours as it is hers" She sat down on her bed.

Chloe looked away saying nothing. It was better to be a part of the Bellas not her way than it was to not be in the Bellas at all; this was her senior year. She couldn't bring herself to admit it out loud, so she took in a breath and raised her eyes back up to Beca and said softly, "I'm really glad you joined this year." There was a sadness in the corners of her eyes as Beca stared into her eyes. They both looked away, just sitting in silence for a moment before Beca opened her mouth and said, "Jesse called my dad to bail me out." She waited for some sort of response out of Chloe, but she didn't look up. "I'm so pissed."

"At who? Your Dad or Jesse?" Chloe was still staring intently at her hands which she was playing with in her lap.

The words stuttered out of Beca's mouth, "I, uh, I mean, I guess both of them. I'm just so tired of everyone thinking they know what's best for me. Jesse's not my boyfriend-" Chloe's eyes shot up to look at Beca's face, "-I don't need him to wait around to be my knight in shining armor. I don't think he understands that I just am not looking for someone to open my doors and give me a frickin' corsage" Chloe's face softened, and she studied Beca's face taking a deep breath, "What are you looking for then?"

"I don't know? I'm not even sure that I'm looking for anything, someone. What's the point? I'm not even planning on staying here for very long." she lifted her hands to rub her eyes, "What does he expect? I know that I'm not that girl that he wants me to be. Love doesn't happen, it's an illusion, at least for people like me. He wants it to be this thing that it's never going to be." She put her head in her hands, so she didn't see Chloe bite her trembling lip. The two sat in silence for a minute before she turned to look at Chloe who immediately smiled back at her and sighed, "Chloe, I think one things for sure, I will never forget tonight..."

Chloe rolled over to her and grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze.

"...Fat Amy's solo, the fight, getting thrown in jail. This is all going to be a great story some day, eh?"

Chloe's eyes sparkled, her eyes flickering down to look at Beca's lips and then back up to her eyes. She licked her lips. "Yeah, a great story" she whispered.

Beca swallowed, her chest rising and falling with each deep breaths she took. She felt stuck and sucked into those eyes that seemed to go on forever like the deep blue ocean. She was caught in the net, her eyes flickered down to the light pink lips and back up to the eyes that were smiling at her. It felt like there was something stuck in the back of her throat so she coughed, pulling her eyes away from Chloe, standing up and walking away to her door. She opened it and stood by it and looked back at Chloe, "You should probably get going, we have rehearsal at 8, and it's late." Chloe looked at her from across the room, still sitting at her desk. She took her time standing up, refusing to break eye contact with Beca who was still breathing heavily. Chloe walked slowly directly towards Beca, "Are you sure? It's okay if you need to talk more about everything." she said, putting her hand on the brunette's arm.

Beca opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She looked down and bit her lip, unable to meet Chloe in the eye. She took a breath. "Thanks for offering, I think I'll be okay though."

"Alright, well, you know I'm always here if you need me. Goodnight."

Chloe dragged her hand that was still on Beca's arm down to her fingers and brushed past her, closer than the width of the door really required. Each touch of her hand and brush of her skin was like fire burning through her veins back into the thing in her chest. She leaned in and gave Beca a kiss on the cheek, "I guess I'll see you in the morning". As she pulled away, Chloe turned slightly, looking over her shoulder, catching Beca's eye and walking down the hall. After Chloe was out of sight, Beca stayed standing in the doorway, just breathing before she turned to lock the door and lay down on her bed. Her heart was pounding and her cheeks were flushed. She breathed, blinking quickly, dismissing what she thought what tiredness from her eyes.

No headphones tonight, she was exhausted after everything.

She'd never had friends like this (friends at all really), people who would show up and wait around for you, friends that were girls, friends that were pretty, friends like Chloe...

Beca tried brushing off Chloe's strange behavior and the tingling in her stomach.

She fell into bed and closed her eyes, her dad was an ass, Chloe was weird, Jesse was weird, the Bellas were nuts, everything was weird, too much had happened in the last six hours to process, and now it was all flying around in her brain. All she wanted was to get the few measly hours of sleep that she could before she was assaulted in the morning by her alarm clock to face more of Aubrey's wrath. But when she closed her eyes, she saw Chloe's smile flash in her mind, she felt her fingers running down her arm, and her own heart beating all the more hard in her chest. She worked on trying to slow her breathing down, but she couldn't get the thoughts of Chloe from filling her mind.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

* * *

Semi finals were here, Beca was in her room putting on her Bella uniform listening to the radio. She had just finished when she heard a familiar beat; Beca froze. Her eyes went wide, she looked around her room frantically, grabbing her bag, she ran out her door, down the stairs, and sprinted to the radio station at the edge of campus.

She burst into the station, "Hey! This is my track! You're playing my song right now! That is awesome! You like it? You put it on the radio! That is amazing!"

Luke looked over at her, "It's a sick beat."

Blood was pounding in her ears, after months and months of stacking CDs, making coffee, fetching lunches, and giving Luke her mixes, she was hearing her mix, HER MIX, on the radio.

"Hey, Becky, listen spring break, I want you to take the night shift. Play your music. The DJ at the garage does a brilliant version of this, but yours? It's better."

"Yeah it is." Beca shot back, her head high. She was floating, all of her hard work was paying off. This was her chance, her opportunity. She was one step closer.

Luke invited her to check out a DJ at a club that night, but she had to refuse because of Bellas, because of semi-finals. She was sitting on the Bella bus, ruminating about it all. Luke was giving her a chance and she was here with these idiots. She had this feeling in her chest, almost like pain. Why was she wasting her time wearing this stupid uncomfortable uniform, singing these stupid songs, when there were real opportunities out there to make music. She looked out the window, watching the Georgia fields tumble past them.

A few rows back on the other side of the aisle was Chloe, with her ear buds in, humming to herself.

"Hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream and my cardigan.." the redhead sang to herself.

Beca caught the gentle lilting voice behind her, she fidgeted and kept staring ahead.

"welcome to the land of fame excess, am I going to fit in?" she heard Cynthia Rose's harmony join in.

Fat Amy joined in, and pretty soon the entire bus was singing along. Beca averted her gaze, refusing to make eye contact with anyone else and be ushered to join in this "Glee" moment, as she had began to call these interruptive nonsensical sugary sweet musical moments that now frequently invaded her days as a Barden Bella. Beca rolled her eyes, this song? THIS SONG?

Aubrey turned to look at her, smiling, Beca shot a sideways glance at her. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Chloe, leaning out of her seat with a huge smile of expectation plastered on her face. Beca's head swung back, "Oh! okay?" she laughed. Everyone was staring at her now, they sang the last line of the prechorus and everything fell quiet.

She looked over to see Chloe, looking at her, with the same expectation but no more smile-instead, that look, the one with the fire of the moment. Beca smiled.

 _what the hell_

She took a breath and sang out, "So I put my hands up they're playing my song." Everyone joined in.

Beca threw her head back, raising her fist, "butterflies fly away"

Chloe sang into her iPod like a microphone,"Nodding my head like yeah.. Moving my hips like yeah"

Beca closed her eyes, lost in the moment, the voices singing together in harmony. She felt her shoulders moving to the imaginary beat, rocking out. As they finished the last bits of the chorus, they felt the bus sputtering to a stop. They realized what was wrong and called the Trebles, taking their bus the rest of the way.

* * *

The girls stood in the wings on deck, five minutes away from their performance. Beca watched the Footnotes perform flawlessly in front of her.

There was nothing they could do, they were going to get creamed by those twerps. Beca was furious. They were in their show circle, Aubrey looked at them all, "A-ca-huddle, now. The top two teams go to the finals, so we just have to beat one of them. And if we do it exactly how we rehearsed it, we will get there, okay? Exactly. Hands in."

Beca shot a look at Fat Amy. She couldn't believe this.

She could feel it all slipping away between each background "oo" of _I Saw the Sign_ , she looked over at that smug punk in the wings dancing and smirking, he knew that they had it in the bag. But Beca wasn't going to let that happen. Fire was coursing through her veins, she could her the beat of the song throbbing with the blood in her ears. Luke's look of disdain and disappointment when she'd mentioned the Bellas, and she heard her mix pumping through the speakers of the station, she heard Bulletproof. Closing her eyes, she took a breath and started singing, "This time, baby, I'll be bulletproof."

Everyone was looking over at her. Beca tried to keep from smiling. The song fit perfectly, and it sounded awesome layered with the original arrangement. Aubrey was sending her death glares; Beca was averting her eyes, trying to keep her face straight. They walked off the stage.

"What the hell Beca? Were you trying to screw us up?" screeched Aubrey.

"Are you serious?" Beca couldn't believe that Aubrey thought she was intentionally trying to sabotage them when all she wanted was for them to have a chance at winning.

"Newsflash. This isn't the Beca Show."

Beca was looking her straight in the eye now, "Okay, I'm sorry that I messed you up, but in case you hadn't noticed, everybody pretty much dozed off during our set."

"It's not your job to decide what we do and when we do it. Why don't you ask the rest of the group how they felt about your little improvisation?" Aubrey turned, gesturing to the other girls. Beca looked at the girl she knew would have her back on this more than anyone," Amy?"

Fat Amy looked back at her, caught in between the two fuming girls, "It was cool. But it did take us a little bit by surprise."

"Yeah, a lot like surprise." shouted Aubrey

"Mmmm a little." Amy replied, shrugging her shoulders.

Aubrey turned to Chloe, looking for anyone to blame that their chance had slipped away from them, "I told you she wasn't a Bella."

Chloe's heart broke, she looked at Beca and then back over,"Aubrey, don't."

She saw in that split moment a memory flash before her eyes- her and Chloe talking after the riff off, Chloe reaching for her hand. Bile was rising in Beca's throat, "No, that's okay." she shot at Chloe, "You don't have to pretend, you're allowed to have a say in the group, right?"

Figurative steam was rising from Aubrey's ears as she continued on her stampede of rage zeroing in on Beca, "Your attitude sucks. You're a grade-A pain in my ass, and I know you're hooking up with Jesse."

Beca heard Jesse's voice behind her, "Woah, woah, Aubrey, calm down. We're not hooking up, I swear."

She spun around, "Jesus Christ! That's perfect. Of course you're here right now. I don't need your help, okay? Can you back off?"

Jesse, with his Prince Charming act, again. This fight was between her and Aubrey, no one else. She scanned everyone's shocked faces-Jesse, Chloe, Fat Amy, Aubrey, and threw her hands up, choking back a sob in the back of her throat, spitting her words out, "If this is what I get for trying…"

As she stormed off, Benji tried to chase after her,"Beca? Beca, wait."

Chloe turned to Aubrey, trying to put a gentle hand on her arm, "Aubrey, it actually went really well."

Aubrey spun around to look at Chloe with fury in her eyes, it was too much, victory had been stolen out of their grips again, "Chloe, stop!

* * *

It was all over, and now it was midnight here. The campus was empty, everyone else was gone for spring break, but Beca was okay. She was playing her music on the radio, this was all she had ever hoped for. Bellas were over since there was nothing else to compete for in the season.

She had gotten what she had wished for, the chance to focus on her own music. The studio was empty. She walked around the big empty space. It was weird being in such a huge place by herself at night.

She looked over at the CD tower, The Breakfast Club.

There was an unceasing emptiness inside of her since the Bellas had ended. She hadn't expected this, she had expected that she was going to dive into her new disc jockey gig at the station, and that it would be everything she had hoped, but it wasn't. She would hit play and watch the soundwaves on the screen bounce up and down.

She turned the cd case over in her hand.

In a few hours she went back to her dorm room, her empty dorm room. Everyone had left for Spring Break, but Beca didn't want to be anywhere else, and she definitely did not want to go home, whatever that meant. She looked over at the stack of DVDs that Jesse had left on her shelf. She had nothing else to do so she put the Breakfast Club in. For the next few days, Beca barely was seen in sunlight. She would wake up around three or four in the afternoon, grab some food and head to the station. Then when she got home in the middle of the night she'd watch a movie so she wouldn't have to hear the deafening silence that was usually filled with the sounds of other students in their rooms.

It was late, so late, she had been crying to the end of a movie. Then she had fallen asleep curled in an awkward position curled around, but not touching her laptop.

It was the last day of Spring Break before everyone came back. She lifted her head and groggily looked around at the food and DVDs scattered around her, depressed. Maybe movies weren't all as stupid as she had posited they were. Maybe Jesse wasn't as much of an idiot as she had made him out to be. She felt guilt, sitting at the bottom of her stomach with the leftover pizza she had eaten at 5AM. She picked up her phone, it was 9AM. There were so many people in her life she needed to apologize to. She closed her eyes, she'd spent the last year ready to fight with everyone she met, but they were good people who wanted good things for her. They weren't out to sabotage her, and she needed to stop treating everyone like an enemy; they didn't deserve that. She tried to decide where to start.

She typed out an apology to Jesse, telling him that she had watched the movies, and that he was right. He didn't respond. She tried calling him a couple hours later, he didn't pick up.

The next day, when the campus was filled again with the sounds and sights of people, she went looking for him. She knocked on his door.

"Jesse, I know you're in there. I can smell popcorn."

Silence.

"Jesse, come on. Open up. Hey, I tried to call you. I left a bunch of messages." She heard someone approach the door. Jesse opened it, looking not too happy,"Yeah, I got them."

She opened her mouth, "I'm sorry that we fought. I was mad and I overreacted and I'm just…Aubrey makes me crazy."

Jesse shook his head in disbelief, "Seriously? You think I'm mad because you yelled at me?"

Beca was taken aback,"No, I know…"

Jesse cut her off, "No, you don't. You think you know, but you don't. You push away anyone who could possibly care about you. Why is that?"

His words hit her like a ton of bricks. This was not how she had expected the conversation to go. She had wanted to apologize for being a cynical asshole, for yelling at him when he tried to help her. She expected him to forgive her, after all, didn't he want to be together? Apparently not.

"I don't know." she stuttered out.

"Well, you better figure it out because I'm done with…Whatever this is."

"Jesse…"

"I'm done."

He shut the door in her face.

She stood there for a second taking in what had just transpired. If Jesse had enough backbone to make a point of shutting the door in her face, he was serious. He probably would have killed to have had her show up at his doorstep before their fight, but something had changed.

Beca felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. Is this how they were all going to go? She turned and walked away, swallowing the fear that had risen up in her chest-setting her face like flint. Jesse was literally supposed to be the easiest out of all the people she had to go and apologize to, the one she had expected most too forgive her the most. With a heavy heart, she started walking to the residence of the next person she needed to apologize to.

* * *

Unfortunately, I didn't get to write any of my own scenes with Chloe/Beca this chapter. There is just so much content from the films to get through at this point... Anyway, hate to be that person who's work isn't largely original, but I feel like I need to lay down a really solid base of my perspective on the way the films went down in order to build into my own stuff. I know everyone's wondering how I'm going to get rid of Jesse ...(and bring in the Bechloe) hahaha

All I can say right now is that I think its important for us to see how things transpire with him for Beca because it's a significant part of her personal development (which as you can see, is a huge part of what I want to do here), that helps her get to the point that she's ready to have a relationship with Chloe. I think things work like that in life.

I'm going to really get more and more into Beca's career development/pressure/stress because I think its a huge part of her personal development in the second film and growing up/realizing her love. ANYWAY, let me know what you guys think. I LOVE it when people review, it really makes my day to hear back from y'all.

-Lyrabird


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

* * *

Her father lived close to campus, walking distance. The walk gave her some time to think. What Jesse had said was replaying in her head. When she arrived her father invited her in, making some tea.

Beca stepped in and said, "I'm sorry that I've been fighting you this whole year. I know now that you were just trying to do what you thought was best as my Dad. To be honest, but "getting involved", joining the Bellas may have been the best thing I've done this whole year, and as much as I don't want to admit it, I probably wouldn't have done it if you hadn't put pressure on me to make something of my time here."

"Thanks Beca, that means a lot to me coming from you, and I know it wasn't easy for you to say that"

"'This doesn't make all those years okay, it doesn't make the way you acted when you and mom divorced okay, but I guess what I'm saying is that I realized that I was trying to hurt you back for what you did, and the only thing I did was hurt myself."

"That is a very mature thing to admit Beca"

After a few moments of silence she looked up and said, "No one was more surprised than me, but I really like those girls."

"And you thought quitting was the answer?"

-Seriously? You can say that to me?"

"Come on, Bec, that's so unfair. Look your mom and I, we didn't work. But I tried so hard to make things right between us. But you, just shut me out."

"Yeah, well, I shut everybody out. Don't take it personally. It's just easier." Jesse's words echoing in her mind.

Her father's face softened, "It's also really lonely."

Beca thought about that for a moment. She'd experienced what it was like to not be lonely, to have friends. She didn't know if she could handle not going back to that,"What do I do?"

"Well, that's up to you. Beca, I didn't treat you and your mother the way I should have. I can't go back and change that, but I want to be a part of your life, you're important to me, and I love you. I'm trying to make up for the way I behaved, and I know it's never going to be enough, but at the end of the day, I just want what's best for you. You and I may never meet eye to eye about what that best thing is, but you have to know that I want to see you succeed, I just want for you to be happy."

His words hung in the silence after he spoke them. Beca felt a lump in her throat, she couldn't look him in the eye. Instead her eyes dropped down to the cup of tea in her hand, she fiddled with the teabag.

"I guess thanks. i don't really know how this works."

He gave her a hug and kissed her on the forehead. Beca stiffened when he first touch her, but then she relaxed and let him hold her, "You are always welcome here. I love you, you are my daughter. I know this isn't where you want to spend your time, but I want you to know that this can be your home if you want it to be, and I want to be there for you in whatever way I can, whatever ways you'll let me."

* * *

Aubrey had gotten the call informing her of the disqualification of the Footnotes, meaning that the Bellas were back in the round. She started texting all of the girls, except Beca. Aubrey knew this was their chance for redemption, her biggest obstacle, Beca, was out of the way now; however, Chloe had a different idea," I texted Beca."

Aubrey was furious,"You did what?"

"She makes us better." Chloe knew that this wasn't going work, it wasn't going to happen unless Beca brought them to the new level.

"That's not an opinion for you to have, Chloe."

For the first time, Chloe was ready to push back with Aubrey. Beca was right, her opinion mattered too, "Why? Because it's not yours? You're not always right you know."

"We will win without her," Aubrey replied confidently.

Despite her conviction, the rehearsal went terribly, Aubrey began chewing out everyone. Chloe piped up, "We need Beca."

"Okay, shut it Chloe!" Aubrey yelled. The girls murmered. "Oh, I'm sorry. That was rude. Chloe, could you please get your head out of your ass? It's not a hat. Again!"

Chloe's blood was boiling. Beca didn't deserve how Aubrey had treated her, she didn't deserve how Aubrey was treating her. Now they had a real chance again, and Aubrey was ready to blow it all because if it wasn't her way, it was the highway-"I have been there for you for so many years, and all you do is treat me like shit! We should have listened to Beca!"

The argument between Chloe and Aubrey continued to escalate. Every frustration, every little thing Chloe had kept down rose up in her, the line had been crossed. Aubrey began spewing vomit everywhere. Chloe's face was hard, she was yelling back at her, "Come on, bring it! You can do better than that! That's all you got? We could have been champions! Give me the pitch pipe, you bitch!" Chloe made a lunge for it. She was going to take control of the situation, she was going to get Beca back, she was going to give them the chance to finally win.

"Give it to me! Give it to me! Give it to me!"

Mayhem ensued as the girls got tossed around fighting. Fat Amy and Stacie tried to break the two seniors apart, but the situation only escalated. Lily was thrown in the vomit that was splattered on the ground. Beca walked into the chaos. This was not what she had expected to see when she was gathering her courage to come and apologize, "Guys! Guys, stop! What is going on?"

Aubrey looked at her dismissively.

Beca's face fell," I just…wanted to say that I'm sorry. What I did was a really dick move and I shouldn't have changed the set without asking you guys. And I definitely shouldn't have left. I let you guys down and I'm really sorry. And…Aubrey, if you would have me, I want back in."

Beca looked at everyone in their various states of filth and humiliation, she grabbed a folding chair and started dragging it towards the door. Chloe's heart was pounding, Beca had come back, and Aubrey was going to throw it all away AGAIN, she knew this was their last chance, she called out,"Aubrey."

Beca had almost reached the door when Aubrey finally called out to her. She felt so much relief, she walked back over to the girls. Everyone started apologizing. Beca thought about how she had refused to let anyone in, and the problems it had caused. She was seeing Aubrey for the first time, not a domineering terrifying figure of authority, but a woman, scared, terrified, and hopeful. The rest of the girls took the rest of the rehearsal getting to know each other more.

Things were going better than Beca could have imagined, "Okay, I've never really been one of those girls who had a lot of friends who were girls. And I do now. And that's pretty cool. So, that's me. Someone else please go."She turned to look around, Chloe spoke up, "Okay. Over spring break, I made the courageous decision to remove my nodes. I know. The doctor said that I can't sing above a G-sharp, maybe ever. I thought this season was over."

Beca was struck by this, not because of what it would mean for the Bellas, but because she knew how hard it must've been for Chloe to make that decision. She smiled at her, "It's okay, it's okay."

Aubrey looked over at her best friend. It was seeing the pain on her face that made something click in her, she shifted her posture, and for the first time Beca felt like Aubrey wanted her there, that she saw her as a Bella, "Beca, what do we do?"

"Maybe not here?"

She dismissed everyone, told them to clean up, wash the vomit and meet her back at the empty swimming pool again. The girls stood there, a little jumpy with anticipation. Beca stood before them and looked each and every girl in the eye, "Alright, let's remix this business. Um..Aubrey, would you pick a song for us, please?"

"Bruno Mars, Just The Way You Are."

"Okay. Um…Chloe, are you okay to take the lead?"

She nodded, eyes shining. Beca was in her element. She couldn't stop watching her.

The sound, it was was happening. The girls, singing in time, in harmony around her. Chloe looked at Beca, "oh her eyes, her eyes, make the stars look like they're not shining".

Every word was like a diamond falling out of her heart.

Beca joined in, layering a new song on top of everyone else, "Oh I was thinking about her, thinking about me, thinking about us, who we gonna be, then opened my eyes it was only just a dream. "

Chloe smiled and her heart ached. She felt it, every word every note seeping through her pores and resonating in her body. She felt it radiating. She looked into Beca's eyes with a vulnerability even Beca had never seen before, an openness, a surender.

Beca was so caught in the moment. She was hearing in real life what she had heard in her head, and it was more beautiful than she ever could've imagined. She locked eyes with Chloe.

"When I see your face, not a thing that I would change. 'Cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are."

* * *

After the girls first successful aca-huddle "Ah", they spent the next hour working on new songs and arrangements, locking down their set for Nationals. Everyone had left, and Beca found herself alone with Chloe again. The two of them sat on the edge of the pool together. Beca turned to say goodbye to Fat Amy as she left to go home. Chloe was leaning back, her arms propping her up on each side, her eyes fixed on the brunette. Beca was leaning forward a little, head down. "It was a good call, bringing us back here," said Chloe. Beca looked up, but kept looking straight ahead.

"This was the first place that I knew."

Beca turned to look at Chloe, "this was the first place that I felt it."  
Chloe smiled back at her, tilting her head a little to the side, the corners of her eyes crinkling, "I know. I remember.."

She reached tenderly for Beca's hand, interlacing their fingers, giving her a small squeeze. "Thank you for being here, thank you for listening to me, thank you for singing with me."

Beca couldn't speak. Chloe's face was inching closer and closer to her, her eyes flickered down, she licked her lips, breathing deeply. They were inches apart, she could feel Chloe's breath. Spring had come to Georgia and the air was warm and thick around them. Beca closed her eyes, she felt Chloe's lips just begin to brush hers. She didn't jump, but she swung her head back around looking forward again. Chloe's face flashed in disappointment for a second, but she looked forward too and lay her head on Beca's shoulder.

"You mean a lot to me Chloe, I really meant it earlier when I said I'd never had a lot of friends that were girls before. I've never had a friend like you."

Chloe closed her eyes. The feeling of hope that had been in her chest was now water, drowning her. Pained, she swallowed the lump in her throat and managed to squeeze out the words, "I'm glad that I have you too."

Beca played with Chloe's fingers with her hands, still not looking her in the eye, "I went over to Jesse's today to ask for his forgiveness too."

Chloe stiffened, pulling her hand away from Beca, lifting her head up from Beca's shoulder and turned, watching Beca's face.

"He wouldn't talk to me, he said that I had some stuff to figure out."

Chloe clenched her jaw, waiting to see what Beca would say next.

"I want to try and make things right with him. He's the only guy who's ever tried this hard, and I treated him like shit. I feel like I need to give him a chance, but he's not going to try again, unless I do something to show him that I'm really ready this time."

Chloe leaned forward, head down, hand on each side of the pool edge, "I understand that."

She pushed herself up from the edge of the pool, started dusting off her hands. Beca looked back at her getting ready to leave, "Hey, where are you going?"

"it's late"

"Well let me walk you back to your dorm Chloe"

"No Beca, it's fine, you don't need to do that."

Beca straightened up and pulled Chloe into a hug, "i wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you."

Chloe wouldn't meet her eye, she turned and began to walk away, she croaked out, "goodnight" without even looking back.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

* * *

They stood waiting in the wings on deck while the Treblemakers took the stage. Jesse was doing his solo, he was coming alive on stage in a way she had never seen him before. Her eyes shined. Chloe swallowed, watching Beca watch Jesse.

The look in Beca's eyes told her everything she already knew. By now, Beca had confided in Chloe her plan to get Jesse back, the song and everything.

They walked out on stage.

Aubrey had given her the pitchpipe, it meant the world. For Aubrey, it had meant that she was officially letting go. Beca had never thought that something as dorky as this would mean anything, but she knew what a vote of confidence it was from Aubrey.

She gave the pitch, and Aubrey started with the first solo.

"Everybody look to their left, everybody look to their right. Can you feel that? We'll pay with love tonight."

Chloe knew what was coming, she could feel it in her chest, and it was written on her face. Beca knew this was her moment, her father was even here. Beca's solo, she tried to find Jesse's face in the crowd. Her grand, romantic movie ending gesture. Chloe stood behind her, determined to focus on just doing the song, not watching the romance that was blossoming before her eyes.

Beca looked beautiful.

She couldn't control Beca's decision, but she could live in the moment, put everything into the performance, and the rush of that instead of the fact that she was losing something, someone. She pushed it all down, she was going to give everything, her love, her voice tonight, because she knew there would be no tomorrow, and at least she had her first love, music.

"let's do it tonight..." the crowd was on their feet cheering, everyone was hugging each other. Chloe avoided Beca's eye.

As they walked off the stage, Beca ran into the crowd and kissed Jesse.

Chloe tried not to let the disappointment show on her face as she got off the stage. They had just given the performance of a lifetime, she tried to live in that, but all she wanted to do was to find Beca and see the joy in her eyes, but she was with Jesse. She turned instead to Aubrey and gave her a hug trying to smile, at least she was here, at least they were finally here.

* * *

After winning nationals, the Bellas went on to be legends, and Beca was the face of it all. She had the boyfriend and she had her music.

Beca's heart had softened. She knew now that fighting for her dreams didn't mean cutting everyone else out of her life. For once, she was surrounded with more and better friends than she'd ever had in her life, and she had a supportive boyfriend who was dropping her off at her new internship at a recording studio.

Things were going swimmingly, they had become just another thing, routine, comfortable, and then of course Fat Amy had to go and flash her vajayjay at everyone.

"We won three championships, whatever happens in there we're going to be fine. Maybe it's time to think about other stuff?"

They were sitting outside the Dean's office waiting to face the ICCA board's decision. Beca was trying to talk herself down. She had a life outside of the Bellas, and with graduation coming soon, it was about time that she started getting back on track to becoming a music producer. After all, what was she going to do after she graduated? Become an accapella coach or something? Chloe was not having it though, "What other stuff? "

" You know, school, jobs, life?"

"The group _is_ my life, I've intentionally failed Russian lit three times so I could be a Bella."

Beca rolled her eyes. She loved Chloe, but there were some things that she did that she just couldn't understand sometimes, but she accepted that which was why she hadn't questioned it when Chloe had intentionally failed Russian literature three times to keep from graduating.

They found out that they were suspended, their tour was cancelled, and their only chance was winning "the Worlds." for reinstating.

Chloe was freaking out, "if we don't win the Bellas are over." She hovered over the girls with the determination and commitment that the team had come to expect from their leader Chloe Beale. She started on another pep talk for the group, trying to convince herself as well as everyone else that they hd a chance at victory.

"That's great news, I can start on Monday."  
On the other hand, Beca wasn't paying attention, she had received a call from the recording studio she had applied to for an internship, her heart jumped, she was so nervous, she stumbled over her words, she was trying so hard to make a good impression that she was actually butchering it.

* * *

Beca's enthusiasm hadn't gone away. She was dressed up in a classy "business professional" outfit. She looked at her boyfriend, his face was shining with pride as he leaned against his car. This was the life she had come to expect, boyfriend, supportive boyfriend, supportive boyfriend with a car driving her to work, it was all so comfortable. The thing with the Bellas had been a bump, but she was moving forward, this was a big break. She smiled back at Jesse, but she felt a sinking feeling in her stomach.

"Dude, why do I feel so guilty? I've given a lot to the Bellas, like three years of my life,"

"You should not feel guilty at all about taking your shot."

Her stomach churned as she stared into his eyes, "This is a big deal right?"

She needed to know that she wasn't making it up in her head.

"This is a very big deal"

He kissed her.

So began her internship, fetching coffee and such. She didn't know what to do half the time. She was largely overwhelmed by intense boredom punctuated by occasional mundane tasks that someone would give to her, to which she would jump up and attempt to complete with as much speed, efficiency, and accuracy as possible. Everything had to be perfect, it wasn't about doing the minimum amount of work, but trying to make herself indispensable, make people notice by how good she was. Every mundane task was more than that, it was a chance to prove herself. She was terrified, all she wanted to do was make a good impression so someone might give her a chance.

Every conversation was another opportunity to make an impression. When someone finally did speak to her, she needed to be funny, cool, well informed, and helpful. The day, though stressful was relatively uneventful. She sat through a meeting that was a lot of things if not just intimidating. The boss had asked everyone for ideas. A few things were bouncing around in her head, but it was her first day, and she wasn't sure it was her place to even voice those. What if her ideas were bad? She didn't want to be known as the bad idea girl. She held her tongue, it was better to wait a little.

The hours passed slowly, she checked her phone, it was about time that the girls would be headed to the hood party. Chloe's text popped up on her phone, "where are you? we just let in this new legacy girl, and we're headed to the hood party!" She'd told her earlier that day that she was going to be with Jesse. Beca's stomach lurched, she still hadn't told Chloe about the internship, and the thought of that conversation frankly freaked her out a little. She didn't want Chloe to be intimidated by it or feel like she was abandoning her. Well, she wasn't sure what to tell her quite yet, it had only been her first day. She looked at the message, trying to decide how to reply; she still had at least an hour before she got off and could join them. Maybe she just wouldn't reply, Beca put her phone back in her pocket fidgeting. She had been sitting in the intern chair for the last twenty minutes and no one had talked to her or asked her to do anything. She had to wait until the last session, the last person was done, and then she would clean up the office and take out the trash.

* * *

Chloe lead the girls through the hedges to the party. They started working their way through the crowd, her eyes were scanning for a certain someone in particular when she spotted Jesse.

"Jesse where is Beca? I thought she was with you tonight?"

Jesse hid his momentarily confusion and replied calmly,"I thought she was with you tonight?"

"I thought she was with you?"

She left Jesse confused to say the least, she continued to scan the crowd for Beca. There was so much she wanted to talk to her about, she wanted to introduce her to the Legacy, but she also wanted to make sure that what was likely to be their last hood night didn't slip away without a chance for the two of them celebrate on their own.

About an hour later, Beca finally found herself crawling through the bushes. She spotted Jesse and ran over to him, greeting him with a peck, "Hey!"

"Hey, you made it!"

"Couldn't miss the last Hood night party!"

"So how was the internship?"

Beca took a deep breath, how was she even going to begin to explain her day, "Eye opening, those dudes do not mess around."

"Chloe asked where you were, why didn't you tell her?"

Beca shook her head a little, almost trying to shake off the question,"She's just locked into the world right now and I'll looking for the right time, I'll tell her."

She still didn't feel great about keeping it from Chloe, but she knew that tonight wasn't going to be the night she told her. She didn't want to ruin this special time for them that was supposed to be about letting loose and having fun. She went and got herself a drink.

The music was pumping, she looked around and immediately felt better. She threw her head down and whipped her hair back in time with the music. All the weight of the day melted away, she didn't have to think or worry, this was great, this was what Beca had learned to know and expect. She bounced through the crowd looking for Chloe, they had started a tradition for the hood night party, and she knew that she needed to find her. Everyone was dancing, laughing, having a good time. She spotted a few of the girls huddled around a certain part of the dance floor and headed that way. When she'd worked her way to them, she saw Chloe, hair flying in the air as she danced, cup in her hand. Chloe saw her, and a huge smile broke across her face, she yelled across the small space, "BECA!" and flung her arm around her, kissing her on the cheek. The redhead whispered into her cheek, "Missed you, where've you been?"

"Not important, important thing is that I'm here now."

"Oh good, I thought I was going to have to tear up this dance floor by my lonesome self."

Beca laughed, finally turning to look the redhead in the eye, "You? lonesome and by yourself. Now that would've been a sight to see."

Chloe gave her a playful shove back, "well, you've got time to make up, so show me what you've got Mitchell". Beca raised an eyebrow back at her and started to dance, rolling her hips and shoulders back into Chloe.

"Hmm... are you sure you've had enough to drink yet? Because I'm having a hard time believing that you're ready to play!" she shot back. Chloe's eyes sparkled. Beca heard Fat Amy's yelps behind her and turned away from Chloe for a second. Stacie rushed in between the two of them and started twerking on Chloe, who immediately started laughing.

This was it, this was normal, this was being twenty-one, this was not worrying about the future.

All the girls continued to dance in their usual fashion, occasionally a Treble or two would join in and try to show them up, and one of the Bellas would step in, challenge accepted, but it was all in good fun these days. Jesse even had his moment, pulling out some of signature moves. But at one point in the night, Chloe gave Beca the look, raising her eyebrow and nodding her head to the side gestured to Beca who followed her as she left the dance floor. Chloe ran over to the bar, grabbed a bottle and a two shot glasses, as Beca looked around to see if anyone had noticed them leaving.

But no one did. They ran off into the night with their takings, ready to finish their night off in their usual fashion.

* * *

 **Next chapter you find out what their tradition is. I had a time figuring out what that was going to be. I wanted it to be something as awesome as can opener and thumbtacks Donna/Harvey from Suits style, but I settled for something a little less original, hope you guys will like it. Next chapter has a lot of Bechloe 3**

 **Lyrabird**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 **Hey everyone! I'm so sorry it's been so long since i've updated. I was at Bonnaroo for the last five days, and I only just barely started my post festival recovery. I wanted to get this to you guys though, so I'm finally posting this! Also, I totally wrote this chapter BEFORE** **not-so-average-fangirl posted her chapter using the same song... but I have accepted that as there are a finite amount of songs, and on some level they speak to us as writers of a fandom, and I didn't want to change my scene just because it started to feel "unoriginal" anyway, hope you guys enjoy this!**

 **Keep your pants on, but I am going to bump this fic up to M from here on now just to be safe.**

* * *

Every year now for the last three hood nights, Chloe stole a bottle of tequila or charmed it out of whatever guy was guarding the liquor, and her and Beca would run off together. This was their secret, this was their tradition. The first year they did this (right after they had won their first ICCA Championship) it had started with a bet. Chloe had been humming "No Diggity", Beca had snorted when she caught a few bars of the familiar song. Chloe became indignant, insisting that she loved the song, and knew every word. So Beca challenged her to do the whole song. If she could do it, Beca would do a shot of tequila, and if she couldn't Chloe would. Chloe did succeed, and Beca took the shot, but Beca of course, wouldn't let it go, and the two went back and forth a few times before they left the party, still trying to out do each other. Someone, neither could really remember who, had the brilliant idea to carry on the fun at a seedy Karaoke bar, which was now become their destination private hood party after party.

"Here's to becoming fast friends," said Beca, winking, and holding up a shotglass brimming with tequila to clink with Chloe's.

"Yes, here, here!" said Chloe. The two took their shots just outside the hedges of the Treble house. They started their walk towards the East Side Tavern, only across the street and a block from the Trebles. They walked into the smokey double wide trailer. No one was in there but the bartender, who they were now friends with after frequenting for some many years. It was a cash only, beer only place. Beca threw down a couple bucks and grabbed two beers.

Chloe walked up to the machine and flipped through it, picking the first song for the night. Over the years, their tradition had become less about the competition and more about a chance for them to hang out, sing, and have a good time together.

Next was "Stronger" Kanye West, and Beca proved again that she had many many hours listening to hip-hop and rap.

The Spice Girls "Wannabe" came on next, as the song began, Chloe gestured to Beca, motioning to her to come up and join her. Beca jumped up, grabbing the second microphone, and they worked the stage together.

After finishing off their first round of beers, the two sang the James Taylor/ Carole King duet "You've Got a Friend", both acting a little sappy and staring into each other's eyes the whole time, harmonizing like it was going out of style.

Chloe challenged Beca to sing "Call Me Maybe", only because she knew that Beca do the entire song sarcastically, and after a very funny performance with many rude hand gestures, Chloe picked out one of her favorite songs.

The familiar guitar riff filled the tiny speakers as Chloe stepped up to the mic, "You think I'm pretty, without any make up on, you think I'm funny when I tell the punchline wrong, I know you get me. So I let my walls fall down, oooooo." She smiled at Beca, "Before you met me, things were alright, but things were kind of heavy, you brought me to life now every February, you'll be my valentine, valentine." She took the mic off the stand and started strutting across the tiny stage, "Let's go all the way tonight, no regrets, just love, we can dance, until we die, you and I, will be young forever..."

She danced into the chorus, point an outstretched arm at Beca, "you make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream, the way you turn me on, I can't breathe, let's run away and don't ever look back, don't ever look back..."

"mmmm... Katy Perry," thought Beca. She wanted something that fit better into her alto range. She walked over and pulled up the song on the machine and started singing with the track-"This was never the way I planned, not my intention. "

Chloe's eyes got even bigger if it was possible. Beca flipped her hair and winked at her, "I got so brave, drink in hand, lost my discretion."

Chloe raised an eyebrow at her, still trying to decide how to react, reaching for her beer, putting it up to her lips, not breaking eye contact with Beca.

"It's not what I'm used to.."

Chloe mouthed at her teasingly, "Wow, big surprise"

Beca smiled back running her hand through her hair, "...just wanna try you on. "

She lifted her arm not holding the microphone and brought it down to point at Chloe, "I'm curious for you, caught my attention." She turned her palm up and wiggled her finger at her in a "come hither motion"

Chloe's smile froze on her face as Beca began to sing the soaring chorus.

"I kissed a girl and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick.

I kissed a girl just to try it, I hope my boyfriend don't mind it."

She swallowed, no longer laughing. She turned, averting her eyes, no longer making eye contact with Beca. Instead, she stared intently at the bottle of beer in her hand. Beca had her eyes closed, and then she was jumping around the stage singing her lungs out. She didn't notice Chloe's quick shift in mood change.

"It felt so wrong,it felt so right.

Don't mean I'm in love tonight.

I kissed a girl and I liked it."

Chloe looked up and plastered a smile on her face, trying to play along with Beca.

Beca finished the song with a flourish and put the mic in the stand. Chloe didn't jump up immediately like she usually did to do her next song. The track to Beca's song faded into a silence that stat heavily on Chloe. She sat for a few seconds before Beca noticed they had finished their beers, and walked back over to the bar to grab another round. Chloe took a big swig from the half empty bottle of tequila. Beca was handing the cash over to the bartender when she heard the beginning of a new song come over the speakers, and Chloe's voice singing.

"Here I am waiting.

I'll have to leave soon

Why am I holding on?

We knew this day would come

We knew it all along

How did it come so fast?"

Beca turned around, beers in hand, to see Chloe on the stage, looking straight at her, eyes shining. Beca gave her a small smile back.

"This is our last night but it's late

And I'm trying not to sleep

Cause I know, when I wake, I will have to slip away"

Chloe's face was marked with desperation, her face read the words she sang. She closed her eyes going into the chorus.

"And when the daylight comes I'll have to go

But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close

Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own

But tonight I need to hold you so close"

Beca put the beers down in front of Chloe on the stage and hopped up with her, grabbing the second microphone joining in with a harmony.

"Here I am staring at your perfection

In my arms, so beautiful

The sky is getting bright, the stars are burning out

Somebody slow it down"

Beca looked over at Chloe, who had here eyes closed as she belted out the words. She turned, closing her eyes too.

"This is way too hard, cause I know

When the sun comes up, I will leave

This is my last glance that will soon be memory"

As the last few words of the song faded away, the two slowly opened their eyes, each looking over at the other. Chloe smiled weakly; Beca pulled her into a hug, and Chloe nuzzled her face into Beca's neck. The two stood there for a full minute before looking up and pulling apart.

Beca opened her mouth, "We good for tonight?"

"Yeah, I think so." whispered Chloe as she turned, trying to wipe away her tears without Beca noticing. She bent down and grabbed the beers, handing one to Beca. Each put the bottle up their mouth and didn't put it down until the entire bottle was gone. They stumbled out of the bar.

The house wasn't very far, only two blocks away.

They stumbled in through the back door into the kitchen. Chloe stumbled, fumbling with the door as she tried to close it. She started giggling, Beca tried to shush her, insisting that they be quiet, since it was about 4AM.

Chloe walked over to the cabinet and grabbed two glasses, filling them with water, handing one to Beca, "drink up" she said.

Beca took it, but not without a, "Thanks mom" in return. Chloe gave her a little shove back on the shoulder. Beca drained the last bit from the glass and whispered, "I got to pee like a racehorse." She went over to the bathroom. Chloe followed, leaning against the door frame, gently rapping on the door, "are you almost done? I got to pee toooooooo." Beca didn't reply, and Chloe just opened the door walking in. "Chloe! I'm peeing!"

"Sweetie, you and I both know its nothing I haven't seen before." she quipped back.

Beca blushed, "I know, but still..." Chloe gave her a condescending smile, "Fine." She turned around so she was facing the door. She heard Beca stand up, zip her pants up and then flush the toilet. Chloe turned back around and started walking towards the toilet now, brushing past Beca in the small space. Beca washed her hands, and then opened the door and walked out, closing the door behind her.

Chloe's room was right next to the bathroom, her room was two flights of stairs. That sounded so far away, Beca decided she was just going to sleep in Chloe's room tonight, she started stripping off her clothes, and was in her underwear, starting to pull one of Chloe's t-shirts over her head when Chloe walked through the door, a little confused to see Beca standing there. "Stairs" came out of Beca's mouth a little muffled, as she spoke through the shirt. She pulled her head out, looking at Chloe who shrugged, walking over towards her bed, pulling off her pants. She closed her eyes and fell onto the bed. Chle felt the bed sink down beside her and heard Beca say, "You shouldn't sleep in your bra, you have to free the ta-tas" Chloe laughed, her eyes still closed. She started unbuttoning her shirt, still lying on the bed, eyes closed. She tossed the shirt onto the ground next to her. She reached behind her, unclasping her bra, shrugging the straps off, eyes still closed. Beca was watching, her head a little hazy from all the drink. The room was dark, except for one lamp in the corner, casting lights shadows over their bodies. She looked at Chloe's round breasts, now stiffening in the open air, licking her lips. Her eyes flickered up to Chloe's face, to see if she still had her eyes closed.

She lay there, red hair fanning around her, breathing deeply, chest rising up and down. Beca couldn't help to think about how beautiful she looked like that, almost like a figure in a painting. Chloe turned, still never opening her eyes, burying her face in her pillow, she grabbed at her blanket, slipping under it, Beca joined her and looked up at the ceiling, and the chorus of "I kissed a girl" replaying in her head.

As her eyes fell heavier and heavier, she caught the briefest thought, _"Maybe that wouldn't be so bad. I think I would like that, kissing a girl."_ before falling into a deep sleep, the pressure between her legs fading away from her thoughts with her consciousness.

* * *

 **I usually hate extended lyrics in fics, I usually scroll through them, so I apologize, hope it was worth it? I really wanted to use "I Kissed a Girl". It was actually the first thing that ever made me seriously consider what it would be like to kiss a girl, and I kind of stole my thoughts for Beca here, but I felt like it fit with her character. I was a freshman in college, and it took me almost 8 more months after that thought to even acknowledge to myself that I might be vaguely _bicurious_. But here we are, four years later...**

 **Don't worry, I'm going to have them waking up in the morning Chloe topless, see how Beca deals with that sober and knowing that Chloe can see her, in the next chapter =D**

 **Also, I totally worked on this chapter instead of a blog post I need to do for work. whoooops.**

 **make my malingering worth it though, leave me some reviews/comments.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

* * *

Chloe was the first to wake up. She was starting to slowly regain consciousness. She didn't open her eyes, but she felt her arm draped over a small warm body next to her. She noticed she was topless, and her breasts were pressed into someone's back. She took a deep breath in, it was Beca, her smell, and her neck that her nose was buried in. She gave it a light kiss, nuzzling into it. She felt Beca start to stir and a coldness wash over her insides that a moment before had been warm and fuzzy. This wasn't a dream, this was real life, she was not wearing anything but underwear, she had just kissed Beca's neck. She started to panic, but even so, she felt her nipples stiffen against Beca's back.

This was not helping her case. She swallowed, feeling the pressure between her legs. She shifted her hips and tried to pull away from Beca. She brought her arms over her chest as Beca also turned to face her, eyes still closed.

"Hey" she said sleepily.

"hey," Chloe replied, trying to hide her nervousness.

Beca spoke again, "Sorry, I'm crashing your party," her voice was muffled half of her face sunk into the pillow.

Chloe let out a sigh of relief, it seemed like Beca hadn't noticed subconscious kiss, otherwise she would be freaking out, right?

"You're welcome."

"Last night was fun" Beca was trying to speak in short sentences, a mixture of dry mouth and sleep deprivation cutting her shorter than usual.

"mmm... too much fun?" said Chloe through a smile.

"no, just the right amount. I just need some water, ibuprofen, and five more hours of sleep."

Chloe rolled over and grabbed the top drawer of her nightstand pulling it open. Her hand had just closed around the pillbottle when she froze, "you're not supposed to take ibuprofen on an empty stomach."

"Thanks mom"

"No, but really."

Chloe got up from the bed. Beca groaned again, not opening her eyes, "where are you going?"

"I'm going to get up and make some pancakes, then we can take the ibuprofen, drink some water, and go back to sleep."

Beca's eyes flew open, and she looked up, staring at Chloe. It took her a few seconds to register her standing at the foot of the bed, another second to register that she was still topless, and another to make her look away from the perky breasts and up at the blue eyes looking back at her.

"I love pancakes"

"I know," replied Chloe, bending over to pick a shirt off the ground to put on.

"You're the most glorious human being I have ever met." said Beca, her eyes still unconsciously tracking Chloe's chest.

"Thanks, glad to know things haven't changed."

Chloe made her way out of the room and went into the kitchen to work on whipping together some 5 minutes pancakes. Beca closed her eyes and sunk her head back further into the pillow. She felt the little explosions at the bottom of her stomach, " _Must be because we mixed alcohol last night_ ," she told herself. She tried to ignore the pressure between her legs that by this point at twenty-one years old she knew was her feelings from watching Chloe in nothing but her underwear. She tried to fall back asleep. All she heard was the light pounding of her head.

A few minutes later Chloe walked back in with two plates, each one had a few pancakes drizzled with syrup and butter and two slices of bacon.

Beca looked up when she heard the door open, the smell of the food hitting her immediately.

"I love you" said Beca, staring at Chloe with what could only be described as her cutest puppy dog stare. Chloe smiled back, handing her the plates and sitting down next to her, before taking her plate back from Beca. "Glad to see you don't have any problems expressing your feelings when it comes to food."

Beca moaned, a piece of bacon dangling from her mouth. Chloe slowly turned to look at her, watching the expressions of ecstasy now etched across the brunette's face. Chloe took a sharp breath; her pupils dilated. Beca saw Chloe's expression change of the corner of her eye and was now exclaiming, "haven't you ever seen a girl eat a piece of bacon before?"

Chloe let out a small laugh, "hmm... have you ever seen _you_ eat a piece of bacon before?".

"Yeah Chloe, that's how I spend my days, watching myself eat bacon in mirrors." replied Beca sarcastically.

Chloe smirked back at her, "Well, you might want to considering it looks and sounds like you're having an orgasm."

Beca slapped Chloe's shoulder in response, "how do you know it looks like when a girl orgasms? Because let's be real, it's totally different than a dude," She paused, "Wait, Chloe, don't tell me you've jacked off in front of a mirror!"

"For your information, I have not, and really that is what you're choosing to address when all I did was voice a concern about your bacon/sex face." replied Chloe a little stiffly.

"How do you know how a woman looks when she..." before Beca could finish her sentence she stopped herself asking the question she already knew the answer to.

"Eat your pancakes."

The two didn't talk anymore, but finished their food. Then Chloe handed her two pills, and they both took a big drink of water and swallowed the pills, laying back down. This time, backs to one another facing away without touching each other. Both trying not to think too hard about the myriad of feelings and questions both had swirling through their heads.

* * *

A few weeks later, they went to the Atlanta International Car Show to check out the competition, Das Sound Machine. Beca was watching them carefully, noting every move, harmonic arrangement, and piece of set design, flawlessly executed. She had to admit, they were pretty cool. Beca knew she should be scared or disgusted, but she couldn't help but admire their precision and artistry. By the end of their performance her steely face was beginning to show the smallest signs of worry. She looked over with suspicion. Chloe was bringing the sass up a level to try and talk her trash. She sounded like a child on the playground who was just about to get pummeled by a bully twice her size.

Beca was just watching, but she wasn't going to leave Chloe there hanging, "We're going to kick your ass" Then they started making comments about her tinyness and inability to ass kick. The tall German lady walked up closer to her, speaking in hushed tones that Beca barely registered, she stuttered words out, "You are physically flawless, but that doesn't mean I like you."

Chloe was looking at Beca with a sense of panic, what was she doing.

"Darlings, please take my advice, don't try to beat us, you can't. We're the best, and now I really must go rest my neck, it is sore from looking down on you."

Beca yelled out the first thoughts that entered her head, "Okay, just because you're making me very sexually confused does not mean that you're intimidating!" "Okay..."

Chloe put her hand on Beca with shock on her face.

"We have nothing to lose, literally nothing." She turned to yell at the leaving Germans, " Aca-veidisain bitches!" before snapping out of the strange trance she'd been in, "Oh what is happening to me ? I'm using my hands so much"

* * *

The girls launched into training. Chloe was hyper focused on winning world and beating Das Sound Machine. The girls were being put through their paces with every kind of exercise imaginable. Everyday was grueling drills. They were barely singing most days, just focusing on their ever complicating routine. Through each girls head every day was pounded encouragement and reinforcement - "We're going to beat them!"

Beca could feel the pressure building on her with every day she didn't have their songs ready. She knew she needed to get the perfect arrangement together that would lock the entire routine together. They couldn't get started putting all the pieces together until she figured out the frame. It was all on her, they couldn't move forward until she knew where they were going. She spent hours and hours staring at her laptop. Between Bellas rehearsals, class, and her internship, senior year was causing her to fray at the edges. The more she listened and stared at her computer screen the more her mind went blank.

One day she found herself bringing coffee and lunch at her internship while Snoop dogg was in the studio. The producer was frustrated with the track and her turned to ask the room for ideas. She watched the producer chew out that guy who always talked too much again. Beca was scared of the ridicule her boss seemed to dish out on a regular basis, but her desire to prove herself overcame that. After a few moments, Beca swallowed and worked up the nerve to speak up, getting Snoop to do another pass while approaching the drum pad. As he sang, she started to play along, mashing up "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" with "Here Comes Santa Claus".

The producer watched intrigued, he turned to Beca.

"You can sing"

Relief ran through Beca at his words, "um yeah, I'm like a 3 time collegiate acapellla champion, we're both huge successes in our fields."

"yeah, let's say that, what do you do here?" he replied.

"I just get coffee and burritos and stuff, I want to produce music"

He looked at her as if trying to size her up and said, "if you have any demos I can listen to, I'll make the time."

Beca couldn't believe what was happening, "seriously?"

She left her internship that day floating, all of her hard work was starting to pay off. This was exactly what she had hoped to find. Between all of the monotony of the last few weeks, every lunch and coffee run, her hope was slowly dwindling away, but now she was exploding with excitement. She walked into the house to find the girls having a pillow fight.

Chloe seemed excited, she smiled at Beca and ran over to see the mysterious invitation.

* * *

The girls approached the mansion indicated at the address in their secret invitation, finding themselves at the big underground accapella party sing off. The girls looked around Das Sound Machine was there. They walked over and started talking smack to the Bellas.

"Have abandoned your foolish plans to face us at the worlds?"

"You wish, you gorgeous specimen" replied Beca. She turned to Chloe, stunned by her own words, "She's really in my head."

DSM's words were burning inside of her, they were not going to take their abuse sitting down, she started to lose it. Chloe pulled her away, stung by the way Beca was acting. All of those feelings were quickly replaced when she saw Jesse approaching.

"Hey, what are you doing here? What's going on ?" said Beca to Jesse. She was so excited to see him here. They barely had a chance to talk before the announcements started.

They found out that they had all been brought there for the purpose of an aca-face off. The rules were explained and the categories were rolled. The music began, and Beca could feel herself getting in the zone. She lived for these spontaneous musical moments.

This was fun, brought her back to the old days; it reminded her of how she fell in love with accapella in the first place. The category of was "songs about butts" . Songs passing back and forth between groups, Stacie took it with "apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur." Chloe started dancing grinding on Beca who's heart was pumping. Everyone was rocking until Benji got flustered and broke up the party, bringing them into the next category "Country Love". After that it was, "I dated John Mayer".

The songs were flying back and forth, the girls rocked to some T-swizzle before Bumper started getting weird and threw the category off. All that was left was DSM and the Bellas.

 _"Yo, remember back on the boogie when cats used to harmonize like"_

 _Guys you know you'd better watch out_

 _Some girls, some girls are only about_

 _That thing, that thing, that thing_

 _That thing, that thing, that thing"_

The songs went back and forth, the competition heating up when the new girl jumped in singing her damn song, throwing the rest of the Bellas under the bus with her mistake. Chloe started chewing the new girl out, furious that she had ruined it for all of them. Seeing Chloe freak out on that level was kind of terrifying, Beca jumped in defending Legacy. It was all starting to seem so crazy.

They'd lost, but what was the big deal? Things were going well at her internship, what did it matter if they'd lost some underground competition. This was all a game, the real music to be made was waiting for her at home. Tonight had been fun, but she knew that the future was in bringing some great demos to her boss. After the night's festivities were over, the girls headed home. Beca went to bed that night hopeful for what work would bring the next day.

* * *

Sorry it has been a long long time since I've updated, been depressed about my own actual love life (or lack thereof), so I didn't have it in me to write about more unrequited longing. but this is just before stuff starts to get interesting, hopefully that's the case for me too my friends and readers!

-Lyrabird


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

* * *

A week had passed since Beca had given her boss some demos to listen to. Every day since she had been waiting. Her whole body like spring, tense and ready to explode at a look of acknowledgement. As the days passed, Beca's hopes diminished, and her desperation increased til the point that she was standing in the studio kitchen when her boss passed by, and she opened her mouth and asked, "I know that you've been crazy busy, but did you have a chance to check out those demos?"

He paused, sunglasses still on, Beca could feel herself panicking, "this dead air between us is a good sign."

Her boss finally opened his mouth, but with a "let down" look on his face, "Look, you have a great ear, you proved that in the booth, and I was super excited to hear what else you have and what you gave me was more mashups."

Beca felt confusion churning around in her stomach, "That's what I do."

"Here's the thing- any kid with ears and a laptop can do that. that's fine if you want a career DJing raves in the desert, but if you want to write music producer on your tax form someday, then you got to have to have an original voice, you got to show me what you have. right now what I have is a demo with mashups on it."

His words hit her hard. She was trying to process everything he was saying, which felt right, all she could do was open her mouth and say something in response before he thought that she was completely useless, "Yeah yeah i got lots of stuff to say, I'm just saving it up."

He went on, "You're an intern, and everyone else in here is an intern, you're talented, everyone else in here is talented, so what the hell makes you special? you know what i mean? so, what i'm going to do, is i'm going to give you one more shot to show me who you are as an artist."

Beca quickly replied, "no sir, will not waste it."

"I really hope you don't for your sake, because i'd hate to think singing covers in an accapella group is all you can do."

Her boss's words echoed in her mind for the rest of the day. She kept reliving the conversation over and over.

 _Here's the thing- any kid with ears and a laptop can do that. that's fine if you want a career DJing raves in the desert, but if you want to write music producer on your tax form someday, then you got to have to have an original voice, you got to show me what you have. right now what I have is a demo with mashups on it._

Had she been so naive to think that being a record producer meant making mixes and mashing up what other people had already written.

She sat with her macbook open, hitting the same note over and over, trying to rack her brain for something, anything to say. She closed her eyes, the ghosts of the computer screen burning into her eyelids. She felt the burning over her pupils. She was twenty-one years old, and she'd accomplished nothing, or at least it felt that way. She took a deep breath in, and let it out. What was she going to do, graduation was coming closer and closer, and she had no idea where she was going to live, what she was going to do, and how she was going to pay any bills. Adulthood was a boulder rolling down a mountain coming closer and closer to crushing her, and she could her dreams shriveling up in the shadow of it all. Everything had seemed all together simple four years ago when she was young, defiant, stubborn, and determined. She answered to no one, and no one answered to her. She had been ready to just pick up her entire life at a drop of a hat and move to LA back then. Now, she felt like she was carrying heavy weights, cannon balls chained to her legs and arms. The world wasn't so simple anymore. She needed to forget, she needed to hear a familiar comforting voice. She wanted to talk about what was happening, she wanted to talk to Chloe, but that was out of the question at this point. She called Jesse, but he didn't pick up.

"You might not be able to hear this message, because I have nothing to say, that's music industry speak for I suck. You're definitely asleep right now, that's cool. Text me when you're up."

She stared into space. She kept asking herself the same question over and over again, always with the same answer-silence.

 _What do you have to say? What do you have to say? What do you have to say?_

She had never taken the time to really listen to a lot of lyrics, beats, melodies, and effects she knew. But she was stuck on the words.

 _Write what you know. What do you feel?_

Beca asked herself the question and felt it roll around her head like a marble in an empty room.

 _I feel frustrated._

 _"I am useless. I can't write to save my life. I'm going to truly end up homeless"_

 _Wow, that is a terrible song._

Fat Amy entered the room looking over at Beca's depressing posture in front of the laptop, "you're working on the set?"

Beca felt shame wash over her like someone had dunked her with a cold bucket of water. She'd been so consumed with trying to get mixes to her boss, then so occupied when he had rejected her and trying to come up with something to prove her worth that she'd forgotten for a moment that the entire house of Bellas was counting on her, waiting. She couldn't let them think she was getting somewhere, otherwise it'd be harder when their set list was delayed again; she sighed, "I'm not working on the set."

She looked down at her phone, Jesse still hadn't text her back. She looked up and sighed, "Nothing it doesn't matter."

Amy replied to Beca's speech to no one,"If you did want to share something with me, i'm your best friend, I'm a great keeper of secrets I'm like a safe that locks..."

"It's nothing, it's fine, it's all good," Beca interjected.

Amy raised an eyebrow and said matter of factly, "So this has nothing to do with that internship you sneak off to everyday?"

The guilt washed over Beca again, she didn't say a word but the look of pain she gave to Amy was enough.

"Beca, why did you tell us, or at least Chloe?" Amy asked.

Beca felt a pang in her heart at the mention of Chloe. Amy was right, why hadn't she told Chloe?

"I don't know, because it's just easier, there's like so much going on and Chloe would lose her mind if she thought my sole focus wasn't winning worlds."

She was rambling, but she'd been holding all of this pressure in and how all of her worries were leaking out, "Sorry just now I'm freaking out because, um it turns out I'm totally not good enough to be a music producer, which is cool and fun to know as I enter the rest of my life."

She felt her words rush out of herself like a dam that had burst. She felt the despair in her voice, and she felt all of her confusion and insecurity hitting her now. She was doing everything could to keep from crying.

Amy started pouring encouragement onto Beca, "You're the most talented person I know, and I've met 3 of the Wiggles. You're Becca effin Mitchell, You're awesome!"

Beca sat there, the heaviness still weighing heavily on her despite Amy's words.

"Do you need some of my confidence?" asked Amy.

"uh okay," replied Beca cautiously, not knowing how Amy would respond. The Aussie walked over to her and rubbed her armpits and her butt and started laying her hands onto Beca, "You just need that-"

"No! I don't want your butt confidence!"

* * *

Their performance had been a disaster. Everything that could have gone wrong had gone wrong. Everything they had been pouring their energy into for the last few months had come up empty. Chloe had had a breakdown in front of Beca. It felt like since hood night everything had gone downhill. All of the secrets Beca was hiding were pushing them apart. She couldn't tell her about the internship, she couldn't tell her about her fears because Chloe wasn't ready to talk about the future apart from the Bellas. Beca was ready to move on, but she didn't want to hurt Chloe.

They had lost their heart in the theatrics, and the music had suffered. The one thing that was supposed to be Beca's job, she had failed her team in making sure that it was about the music. It was also her fault that she had not curbed Chloe's enthusiasm. It was her job as co-captain to have stopped Chloe from turning them into a circus show, and she had done nothing. There had been one thing she knew she was good at, making award winning a cappella arrangements and she seemed to have screwed that up too. Chloe had put on another executive hat in the wake of their abysmal defeat and declared that they were all going on a retreat.

* * *

The girls piled into the Bella's van bus thing, and were headed off for a retreat weekend. Beca's stomach was churning, there was so much going on, so much she needed to do, she could feel the pressure getting to her, and she was an aluminum can being crushed under the smashing block. Everything was going the wrong way, the Bellas felt like a sinking ship, and Beca was the captain. She still had failed to deliver anything to her boss, and every day that passed felt like opportunity was slipping away and life was being sucked out of her creative being leaving her an empty shell. Her head was constantly a churning blender of thoughts and emotions. She couldn't see anything specifically but they all bounced around tearing her up-her relationship with Jesse, the internship, the Bellas, the uncertainty of life after graduation, and her lying and disintegration of her relationship with Chloe.

So when the girls got off the bus from the retreat center the first thing that came out of her mouth was, "I need to find a place to charge my laptop."

She knew that she needed to be present, that the Bellas needed her, but right now the sledgehammer repeatedly hitting her in the forehead was the song she needed to get to her boss. Bellas were the present, but her career was the future. She looked around trying to spot an outlet when like some sort of smiling poltergeist Aubrey Posen jumped out in front of them, gun and whistle in hand. Beca was excited to see Aubrey, when they had last seen each other they'd left things good. She looked amazing. She ran over to give her a hug, the rest of the Bellas joining her.

Aubrey had not lost any of her bite. She started explaining her program and how she'd found the perfect match for her skill set in running " The Lodge of Fallen Leaves". Aubrey was giving her put everyone in line pep talk, like Beca had heard many times before. Beca was half listening to Aubrey's speech, and half trying to figure out between all of this constant time together she'd have an opportunity to work on her mixes.

Then when Aubrey explained that they'd be staying in a tent instead of the retreat guestrooms, Beca knew she was screwed. There were definitely no electrical outlets there for her to charge her laptop. If she couldn't charge her laptops, she couldn't use it, and if she couldn't use it she couldn't stare at it more trying to figure out what to say, what to write, and feel like she was at least trying to keep from drowning instead of letting all of it pull her under.

They trudged off to set up their tent.

* * *

I'm so excited you guys! Tent scene and campfire scene next, so many more Bechloe moments to unearth!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

It had taken forever for the girls to assemble the tent. Despite being a talented group, they weren't the most experienced when it came to camping. By the time they had finished setting everything up, it was dark, so there was not going to be the chance to do anything else that night. The girls laid alternating side by side, their heads all together in the middle. Now they were trying to go to sleep. Aubrey had informed them that they needed to all be ready to work at 6AM. Beca wiggled around in the tent, caught between trying to sleep and again worrying about the song she wasn't writing. Everyone was giggling. Chloe was fidgeting, she looked around at Beca who voiced the thought that had been bubbling steadily up inside of her.

"What are we doing here?"

Chloe smiled, "We're bonding!" Her eyes darkened but her perky voice continued chipper as ever, "You seem so tense, do you need a backrub?" Chloe reached out to tuck one of beca's stray hairs behind her ear.

Chloe's sweetness was lost on Beca who was focused more on her career anxiety, the uncomfortable quarters, and the extreme lack of personal space at the moment, "Several body parts are rubbing my back right now. Thank you."

Chloe was not deterred and pressed on trying to make light of it all, "You know Beca, we're really close but I really think this retreat is going to let us discover, everything about each other."

Beca blinked and breathed out, trying to figure out where Chloe was going as she continued to ramble on, "you know one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't do more experimenting in college. "

Beca shivered, all of her senses were currently being assaulted, and she didn't have the patience or emotional capacity to process the significance of Chloe's words, so she brushed it off, turning around and saying, "you're so weird, I want to go home."

She could feel a mosquito buzzing around her ear, this was not her idea. She was so stressed, why was she here sleeping in this smelly tent of farts, she needed to be working.

Then Chloe started singing right in her ear, loudly, "All my life babe, this is how i feel, cold and i am shamed lying naked on the floor", the rest of the girls joining in. She put her hands in her ears shaking her head back and forth. It was all piling onto her, and every song was a reminder of her own failure to write one half as decent.

* * *

The girls all awoke to the terrifying sound of Aubrey Posen's shrill whistle and screaming voice barking orders.

Aubrey had them alternating between team building challenges, low ropes, and obstacle courses and singing basics and classics. Beca was exhausted, she knew this stuff, she didn't see why she needed to be here getting bitten and having people touch her, but she played along, her patience hovering below fed up and giving up. The impending doom at the end of the weekend still held behind the fence as she continued in their bonding activities. The worries about her lack of musical direction held at bay for the time being.

After lunch, they all headed to the lake for a moment of fun before Aubrey threw them into a military style mud course. After having mud in places she never wanted and being hosed down with ice cold water by Aubrey, she had hit her breaking point.

"Sorry, What are we doing?" Beca snapped at Aubrey.

"We're rediscovering our sound!" Chloe perkily replied.

The day was almost over, they had spent almost all their time, and she'd thought that'd they'd have moved on or made more progress by now. They had done a lot of exercises, but they still had no set, nothing solid to walk away from the weekend with-"Were we? Because it sounds like we're just singing songs that would never go in our set."

Chloe looked at her with pleading eyes, "Beca, come on."

"None of us know how to beat Das Sound Machine but I know its not going to be by doing this."

"This is just an exercise in finding harmony beca, sometimes you have to break things down before you can build them back up again" said Aubrey condescendingly.

Everything that had been hovering below the surface rose up in Beca. All of her frustration could no longer be contained, ignored. Panic was taking control and it was turning to hot bubbling anger.

"I got more important things to do!" shouted Beca

"What could be more important than this?" screeched Chloe.

"Nothing, forget it." Beca hastily replied, trying to smooth over her hand that she knew was already exposed.

"No, you think we haven't all realized that you've been a little checked out lately." yelled Chloe, a sob finding itself at the back of her throat.

"Come on Beca, just tell her" said Fat Amy

"I heard that, tell me what?"

Chloe had a look of determination carved into her face, and Beca knew there was nothing she could do but own up to the truth now. She quickly evaluated the situation, and made a decision.

"Okay, I've been interning at a record studio and a legit music producer wants to hear my work, God forbid I have something going on outside this group." Beca's heart was pounding.

"Okay, but why would you keep something like that from us?" replied Chloe, feeling a mixture of hurt and surprise.

She felt the words fall from her mouth, what she'd spent the year thinking but saying to no one, "Because you're obsessed, you all are! We're graduating, and the only person thinking about life after the Bellas is me!"

Chloe could see it, she'd felt it all year, but now she could see Beca slipping away before her eyes, "What's so wrong with being focused on the Bellas? This has been my family for seven years."

Beca was done playing nice, she was tired of putting up with babying Chloe and her words flew out of her like darts "Yeah, because you're too scared to leave! Sack up dude!"

"Okay, so you've been lying to us for the entire year and now you're just going to flake out? Now you're going to flake out when the worlds are like right after graduation?" Chloe screamed, it felt like all her worst fears were coming true.

"Oh my God, enough about the worlds! Enough! I am out of here." Beca turned and started walking away.

"Oh okay, you're just going to leave now?"

"We all have to, it might as well be now!" people were screaming at her but Beca didn't notice as she continued to march angrily away when one of the huge bear traps were triggered and she found herself hanging in a net from a tree about 10 feet off the ground.

Beca screamed. and screamed, and cried out.

Chloe ambled over with a smug look on her face, "Well, well, well, look who needs our help? "

"Not cool guys!" the panic was rising up in Beca again.

"Whats not cool is you taking out your frustrations on us!"

It all started to feel petty when she was suspended in a net ten feet from the ground, the words tumbled out of her, "Okay, If I'm about to die, I'm sorry! I didn't mean any of the stuff I said. I love all of you, I love all of you so very very much much, I love being a Bella."

* * *

They found themselves sitting around the fire talking, after cleaning up and finally getting a good solid dinner.

Beca felt the words tumbling out of her, all the things she'd kept bottled up inside of her for months, "Everything's changing so fast, and I'm putting so much pressure on myself, I don't want to fail"

Chloe looked over at her, tenderness in her eyes, "if you just would've said something…"

Beca replied with almost a plea in her voice, "yeah, but you know I'm weird about that stuff—thought I could figure it out on my own but I can't." Her voice faded away as she looked down, unable to meet anyone's eyes, " Maybe I don't have anything original to say."

She looked up at Emily," I wish I could do what you do "

The freshman perked up, almost squeaking- "Well, I feel the same way about you. You're so good it's intimidating. All I've ever wanted was to be one of you."

The girls all murmured back, "You are one of us!"

Beca smiled, "You want to collaborate on something?"

Emily's smile looked like it had taken over her entire face as she stumbled over her words in her enthusiasm to tell Beca just how much she wanted to collaborate.

Chloe interjected next in their group confessional, "I know it doesn't seem like it, I'm afraid to move on, to graduate it's really scary"

Aubrey looked at her and spoke words of comfort to her previous co-captain and best friend, "I never imagined I'd be here either, but look at me now. It's like what my dad said, 'In the minefield of life, you must be prepared to lose both feet.' "

"Then it's decided, this year I will graduate. The Worlds will be my swan song. I mean it!" Chloe said, strong and determined.

After all the other girls had gone around and shared their future plans, Beca let it all sink in. The weight she had been carrying around from all her worries and secrets was gone now, but there was still something sitting at the bottom of her stomach. She didn't know what it was, but she found herself saying one last admonition to everyone, "you know when I look back at this I'm not going to remember performing and competing, I'm going to remember all you weirdos. It makes me really sad to think it won't ever be like this again. I'm going to miss you guys."

She flashed a look around the group, ending in Chloe who smiled back at her and after a moment opened her mouth and began to sing, _"I got my ticket for the long way round,"_

Beca joined her in perfect harmony

 _two bottle whiskey for the way_

The rest of the girls came and their voices lilted, rising into the empty sky above the forest.

 _I sure would like some sweet company_

 _And I'm leaving tomorrow. What d'you say?_

 _When I'm gone, when I'm gone_

 _You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_

 _You're gonna miss me by my hair_

 _You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh_

 _You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_

Beca and Chloe looked at each other, a sadness and a joy in both their faces.

"Did we just find our sound?" Beca called out.

Chloe, "I think we just did."

Everyone else had left the campfire, and it was just Beca and Chloe, staring at each other

"I felt like we really needed to have a talk."

"Do you think you'll move after graduation?"

"I don't know, I think it depends how things work out for me at the studio, but if nothing happens I might move to LA, and seek my fortunes elsewhere."

Chloe smiled, the corners of mouth turning up just slightly as she beamed at Beca, "Will you save a seat for me?" she said softly.

"What do you mean Chloe?" Beca replied, not daring to wonder at the reply she would receive.

"Well, my sister is getting married in LA the end of June. I sure could use some sweet company," she grinned at her, "be my plus one. Come on Beca, that way you don't have to make the trip yourself, I get a plus one, and we get time to hang out before going off to wherever our futures take us. We can put off saying goodbye for just a few more days. You, me epic cross country roadtrip, isn't that just the last hurrah post grad thing we need?"

"Yeah," Beca swallowed, eyes shining," That sounds good, I'm in."

Chloe's lips pursed, the lines of a smile ghosting across her cheeks, "Perfect."

It fell silent between the two silhouettes again. The crackle of the fire and the sounds of the forest, crickets chirping were the only sounds. They both stared into the glowing embers of the fire. Chloe could feel the heat rising in her chest again, the bittersweet of the moment. The two of them were so closer, inches away on the same log, but hope felt miles away. She turned her head a little to watch Beca, the light of the fire casting shifting shadows over Beca's face, on her lips. Chloe took a deep breath, watching Beca's face-she didn't know what she was looking for. Beca's mouth was relaxed, not quite a smile, but gently lifted at the corners of her lips. Chloe felt like she could watch Beca forever.

Beca turned to meet the redhead's inquiring eyes and in one smooth motion reached over grabbing Chloe's hand, giving it a squeeze. Chloe's eyes were sparklig in the firelight; Beca smiled, turning her head upwards to look at the wide expanse of stars above them, "it's a beautiful night isn't it?"

She spoke softly, just under her breath, "Yes." Chloe swallowed, still watching Beca's face, then turned her head too, looking up, squeezing Beca's hand. Chloe had wondered many many times over the years what it would be like to feel her lips touch Beca's lips. She ran her thumb along the back of Beca's-small, smooth, with chipped black nails. She was trying to take in every detail of the moment. The light breeze on her skin, warm, smelling of honeysuckle mixing with the woodsmoke from the fire in front of them, the stars above, and her own heartbeat in her ears.

Their minutes were slipping away as graduation neared, and the years had weighed hard on the redhead. She took a deep breath in. Beca turned to look at her; she could see the light and shadows of the flame reflected in Chloe's eyes, blue fire. Beca bit her lip. Chloe closed her eyes and breathed out. It was the same, the same thing after all these years, the pounding of her heart, the catch in her throat, and the inexplicable need to lean in and feel the touch of Beca's lips. Restraint and fantasy were all she had known, and she was tired of it. For once, she wanted to have something to know, something to hold onto, something to look back on, instead of the story she was playing out in her head. Maybe she'd finally be able to move on, maybe she'd finally be able to let go of what had never been, if there had been something that had been. If it was a mistake, it was one that she was willing to make if it meant that she could stop living her life wondering.

She opened her eyes, Beca was only inches away. She leaned in, closing the gap between the two of them their lips just barely brushing. Chloe was breathing heavily, could they even call it a kiss? Maybe Beca would play it off like nothing had happened. It certainly seemed like that was going to be the case as the two sat in silence for a few minutes before Chloe gathered up her courage; her voice raspy as she cleared her throat, "It's, um, getting kind of late. We should probably get to sleep." Beca looked up, the fire was dying now, and she couldn't see Chloe's face in the dim glow, but she stood up all the same, and the two silently started walking towards the tent which was also dark. Both were silently relieved as they tried to slip in quietly so that they wouldn't have to face inquiring eyes and nosy questions about their private "bonding time". Beca lay her head down on her pillow, looking up at the "ceiling" of the tent. There were still little shadows of light moving around as she knew Chloe was still adjusting into her sleeping bag before turning off her flashlight, plunging the tent into true darkness-leaving Beca with nothing but her thoughts on what was quickly becoming a memory.

* * *

 **Guysssss. I just found an interview today where Anna Kendrick talks about how much she ships Bechloe and has read fanfiction. I'm excited to be getting to the parts I've been looking forward to writing for a while, unfortunately it seems that I only write when I am irresponsible and it's late and I should be doing other work. but for your sakes be thankful I'm not nearly as grownup as I could or should be.**

 **Seriously leave me a message/review. It really is motivating like writer rocket fuel (and since I don't do drugs or energy drinks I could totally use the pick me up)**

 **Lyrabird.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

When Beca woke up the next morning, she felt stiff and someone's knee was in her ribs. Her second night sleeping on the hard forest ground was really starting to take a toll on her body. She crept out of the tent early before anyone else was awake and headed to the showers in the hope that the hot water would loosen up her muscles, help clear her mind, and give her some alone time before she had to sit in the van with the girls for hours.

As she turned on the water, testing its heat and stepping in, her mind flashed back to that moment years ago. Here she was three years later because a crazy redhead had barged into her shower. She almost always sang as she showered, but this morning she couldn't bring herself to do it. It was all just too loaded right now. Instead her mind replayed the same picture show again and again in her head. As the scene repeated again, replays of moments from this weekend came to mind, rising through the haze of sleepiness.

Chloe had said something the other night, something coded about experimenting. Beca had wanted to brush it off again as Chloe's weirdness. She was trying to process their moment by the fire last night, but it did not compute. As she worked the shampoo into her hair, her thoughts floated to the surface like a rubber ducky, and she kept trying to push back down under the water. She tried to submerge it all, but it kept coming back up. It hovered there at the back of her mind that Chloe had meant experimenting with _her_. She hadn't really had time to process this at all yesterday with everything that had happened. She hadn't planned on processing it, but Chloe had forced her to with what had happened last night. Beca squeezed her eyes shut and stepped under the water, washing the suds out, the shampoo and water running down her body to the ground. Either it was a kiss or it wasn't. The implications and the conclusion she would have to draw if she accepted that it had been one were big. Her heart jumped at the thought, but she wouldn't let herself go any further into that uncharted territory. She had to cut herself off at the knees.

If she didn't think about it too hard, she could believe that the brush of their lips had been an accident or that she had imagined it somehow. But there were just her words as well, dissected from the beautiful woman saying them. _Experimenting_. Was that all any of it was? No, she kicked back into her mind. Chloe was her friend, she wasn't using her, experimenting with her like a cheap thing she would throw away when she was done. It made more sense to say that it had been an accident, because the alternative, that Chloe had kissed her and wanted to be more than just friends or an experiment was too much to bear or handle, so she kept it at that, a passing memory.

The idea of experimenting seemed so ridiculous to Beca. It's true that it was one of the things people seemed to do in college that she had never done, was she okay with that? She snorted to herself. Jesse on some level was an experiment, an experiment in relationships. The fact that they had made it three years together was crazy enough in itself considering she hadn't even believed in love or relationships or things "working out" when she started school. Her thoughts and reflections on Jesse and their relationship followed her the rest of her short and uneventful shower.

* * *

The girls all got back to Barden, and a few days later Beca was hitting the studio with Legacy working through the song. The kid was a explosion of bubbly enthusiasm, and Beca found herself settling into a rhythm of work. It was her first real project, and she could feel herself hitting her stride. She could feel what she'd always suspected, that this _was_ what she wanted to do. After locking down Legacy's vocal, she spent a lot of time in the studio and on her own laptop piecing together the rest of the track, and then after that dialing in the mix. Eventually she accepted that she'd done everything that she could do, and she brought it to her boss.

They sat in the control room of the studio, her, Legacy, and her boss. Beca felt nervous and confident. She knew she'd done everything she could, and she knew in her gut that the song was good. Her instinct was to hold her breath, but she knew she needed to breath so she was taking slow steady breaths in an attempt to calm herself down.

She watched his face the entire time the song was playing, his face expressionless. When the last notes faded out he opened his mouth, "I don't like it."

Her stomach dropped, but she waited as he continued to speak, words stuttering out at a painfully slow pace, "I don't like it when people can do what I can do, in a manner of speaking it's threatening."

Beca let her breath out, so relieved to find that what she knew inside was right and affirmed. He continued on, "I have a few notes that you're open to, but this is a solid demo with more potential."

She was so excited to know that she'd made another step in the right direction. As she and Emily walked out of the studio she started screaming, jumping up and down. She ran over to where Jesse was waiting to pick the two of them up from the meeting.

"So how did it go?!" he asked, as she ran over to hug him, "good?"

"Yes!" She replied, burying her head into his chest, "Maybe I won't be homeless after graduating!"

They all laughed as they started piling into the car. Jesse started the car, and they started pulling out of the parking lot. Emily looked at Beca, her face elated with joy, and then looked at Jesse focused on driving, "So Jesse, I heard from Benji that your dream is to score films. Do you have any plans after graduation?"

"uhh...well, that's certainly where I started with when I got into school. I will always love movies and movie music, but the reality is that there's bills to pay. I spent some time interning in the film industry one summer, and I found out that almost all the film score composers have big classical music backgrounds and spend year studying music compositions, writing pieces for entire symphonies and stuff. It would mean that I would have to attend graduate school, probably at a music conservatory somewhere. It's not completely off the table, ut since I don't really have any leads at this point, my dad's firm has a position for me, that way I can get settled into post graduate life on my own for a little before uprooting everything on a wild goose chase. Maybe save up some money if I do decide to try and go for it, that thing. Plus! Seems like Beca is going to be here for a bit with Residual Heat and this demo, so it makes sense to stay here."

Beca narrowed her eyes, turning from Jesse's face where she had been turned and looked out the window instead. Running her tongue across the back of her teeth, the words turned over in her head- _I am getting everything I ever hoped for, everything I have been working my ass off for years, and Jesse has it figured out now too._

Emily and Jesse chattered on with small talk for the rest of the short ride, but Beca was caught in her thoughts, sitting quietly looking out the window until they got home.

* * *

A few days had passed, and before they knew it, graduation day had come at last. Everyone gathered around the front of the house in the caps and gowns. They gave Emily the camera to get a picture. The whole day was a blur to Beca. Her mom had come with her new boyfriend, and her father and the stepmonster were there too. Between all of the family obligations, both hers and Jesse's- brunches and dinners, she didn't have a lot of time to celebrate with her friends. Thankfully, she didn't need to be out of the Bella house for a while, so she didn't need to pile on moving to her to do list, she would settle for packing for Copenhagen. They left three day after graduation. They had booked their trip so that they would have a few days to explore and enjoy their time before having to perform.

The morning of the flight the Bella house was a disaster zone. Everyone was going through their lists and double checking their suitcases. Chloe had everyone lined up, and listed off the important things, making each girl double check (von Trapp style). They piled into a few cars and went off to the airport.

They all got through security relatively easily, except for Stacy, who had been stopped in x-ray. To no one's surprise, it was her vibrator that had prompted the special security check, but once that was explained and put away (not without an uncomfortable amount of blushing and eye contact averting by Emily) the girls rolled off to their gate.

Beca had a window seat, Chloe was next to her, with Emily at the aisle. The three were all putting their carryon overhead, purses at their feet. Finally everyone was settled in. Beca had her headphones in, and was staring out at the runway. Emily had a magazine she'd buried her nose in. They had all been sitting there for a few quiet moments. Chloe had been seemingly fixated on the chair in front of her, her eyes having not left it for a while. Slowly, Chloe turned to look at Beca and smiled, taking in a slow breathe. She reached over, gently putting her hand over Beca's on the armrest.

"Hey," she said quietly, as Beca turned, taking off her headphones and smiling back with a quiet, "Hey" back.

Looking into Beca's stormy blue eyes, Chloe felt a lump forming in the back of her throat for a moment. She quickly cleared her throat and said, "it's been a crazy couple of days. Haven't even had the chance to properly congratulate you on your song, graduation, any of it."

Beca turned her hand over under Chloe's, so that she could hold her hand. Giving it a squeeze, she grinned, "Right back at you graduate. Sometimes it's a wonder that we're all here."

"That we even got this far?" Chloe replied.

"Yeah, but we're here now, together."

Chloe's eyes shifted down at their hands, fingers intertwined, and felt it all rising up in her again. Moments and memories of the past year flashed before her mind, and her face slipped from the sweet smile into something more pensive, even a little wistful, turning away from Beca.

Beca's hand slipped out of Chloe's as she brought it up to cup Chloe's face and bring it back to look at her, "Chloe, I know you're sad that it's the end of all of this, but we're only going to get this once, so we can't waste our time being sad it's ending, we just have to enjoy it for what it is before it's gone" and pulled the redhead into a hug.

Beca felt her sigh into the hug, burying her face deep into the sweet smelling brunette hair. They held each other for a what felt like forever but also not long enough to either's liking before Chloe gave her a little squeeze, pulling away and giving Beca a quick kiss on the cheek.

They both turned back to face their front, and Beca put her headphones back on, Chloe doing the same. Hours went on, the in flight entertainment lighting the faces of individual passengers in the now dark cabin. Beca had her laptop out. She knew she only had a few hours of battery life before her small window of opportunity was over, but she was working on another song. Beca looked over, Chloe had been watching the movie for a little, but was now turning off the screen and was trying to get comfortable in the cramped space. She turned back to her computer screen, making a few more edits, auditioning a few different vocal affects she might want to use. She looked back over at Chloe, who now had her eyes closed, and let out a disgruntled sigh.

She reached over and lightly touched Chloe's arm. The redhead's eyes shot open and looked over at her. Beca motioned with her hand at Chloe and then to her shoulder whispering, "You can, it's fine". Chloe's brows furrowed together and in her own hushed voice replied, "are you sure? I don't want to bother you." Beca's face broke out in a reassuring smile, "No, it's fine. You need your beauty sleep. We both need you to get your beauty sleep." The smile turning into a mischievous grin as she teased,"You know what a mess it'll be if you don't."

Chloe slapped Beca's arm jokingly back, but Beca gestured to her shoulder, and Chloe leaned against her, snuggling in. Chloe's eyes followed the recording program on the screen for a few minutes, watching Beca work the little sound clip squiggles. After a few minutes, she drifted off to sleep.

Two hours later, Chloe felt a stirring underneath her, she lifted her head up and looked over at Beca sleepily. "Shhhh.. go back to sleep. I'm just putting my laptop away." Beca whispered, slipping her laptop bag back underneath the seat in front of her, gesturing to Chloe to lay her head back on her shoulder. Chloe leaned back in, and Beca turned, kissing the top her head, stroking her hair a little before turning her own head to rest against Chloe's.

Beca closed her eyes, taking in the light scent from Chloe's hair that drifted up towards her. Her eyes slowly grew heavier and heavier as she slowly stroked the redhead's hair before falling asleep, her arm wrapped around Chloe's back, holding her as the two soared across the Atlantic.

* * *

 **AN: So sorry, I know it's been forever since I've updated, but I got a little email from someone begging me not to abandon this, and it lit a spark in me. I'm very excited for some of the stuff coming up.**

 **Love from Lyrabird.**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The girls were enjoying themselves, they would rehearse in the mornings before all going out to enjoy the afternoons and evenings in the city. There were many places to see and new foods to eat. Before they knew it performance day had arrived. As they headed over to the festival grounds, they saw the thousands of people gathered; it was truly the worlds. It was amazing to see so many people together in one place, just making music with their mouths. Beca was thankful, even if she never did acapella again in her life, she was thankful that the last four years had lead her here, and that she could spend it with these girls singing at the world championship of acapella.

Beca headed to the makeup tables, passing Benji and Emily together having their awkward moment. She smiled to herself as she saw them share a timid kiss, three years ago that was her and Jesse. As her mind turned back from the past to the current moment, she felt the weight of time. Before she had known it, three years had passed. So much had changed since them, she had change. Jesse had change, and they were still here, though less bright eyed and naive then those incarnations of themselves in those days.

* * *

Finally it was time. Beca was bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. She felt confident but energized. She knew at this point they had done everything they could up to this point to prepare, and she had done everything she herself could've done to lead her sisters to victory.

Right before it was time to go on, Das Sound Machine approached them. Beca's chest swelled up, she knew that it was time to throw down, and she felt ready. The tall German woman was there again, talking trash, working to try to psych her out again. She found herself babbling, to her own shame, and the Bellas, "Ha! your sweat smells like cinnamon." The Germans walked away and Beca found herself cursing outloud at her misstep, "damnit."

Working to gain her composure Beca turned back to the Bellas, "Final performance guys."

"We need to get out there and beat DSM," said Chloe looking around, "This ones for us"

Eyes traveled from face to face to face, locking contact, the pulse beating between them. Everyone put their hands in and sang.

Out in the crowd, Jesse and Benji were working their way as close to the front as they could. They were being the best boyfriends possible. They had even bought their own tickets to Denmark just to support their girlfriends, and they were going to do everything they could to see the Bellas win, against all odds.

Up on stage the girls were all standing spaced out on the stage, silently staring into the crowd, when in sync they all started to clap, stomp, and clap. Chloe and Beca were standing side by side, then turned to look straight into each other's eyes. Beca could hear her heartbeat in her ears as it all started to wash over her. Chloe smiled back at her, as if saying, "you ready for this?" and the world seemed to go into slow motion as they both turned back to the crowd, opened their mouths and sang, "Who run the world? Girls."

One last chance to feel it. They closed their eyes for a millisecond before opening it to the beautiful storm of voices, hands, and feet moving perfectly in sync to each choreographed move and orchestrated note. The adrenaline was pumping in Beca's veins as they hit each cue perfectly. Amy's solo echoed in her ears as the lights flashed around them and she felt the rumbling from their own feet hitting the stage, "We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder. "

In that moment Beca could feel it, she was here in this moment and the music was in her and around her, and she wanted to be nowhere else in the world, and everything in her life felt as if it had been leading to that moment as Fat Amy's voice washed over her body, "We belong, we belong together."

The lights dimmed, and Beca stepped forward for her last solo as a Barden Bella. With the stage lights finally dimmed, she could start to make out the faces of the thousands of people in front of them listening.

"When tomorrow comes, I'll be on my own. Feeling frightened of the things that I don't know"

The song slipped out of Beca, the weight of the whole year slipping from her shoulders too as one by one the other girls stepped up to join her by her side.

"And though the road is long, I look up to the sky. In the dark I found, I stop and I won't fly, and I sing along."

Under the stars, here they all were. Out in the crowd, Benji and Jesse turned on their flashlights, spurring everyone else around to take out their phones and start swaying, lights moving in sync through the people.

"I got all I need when I got you and I

I look around me, and see sweet life

I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight

You're gettin' me, gettin' me through the night

Can't stop my heart when you shinin' in my eyes

Can't lie, it's a sweet life"

Chloe looked to her right, Beca standing at the helm. Her face was shining. This was as much Chloe's moment as it was Beca's with the whole crowd hands up, lights going back and forth, singing along.

She felt it.

* * *

It was three AM at their victory after party. None of them had had a proper chance to celebrate graduating since they had all been working their asses off to prepare for worlds, and now it was time to let loose. Someone had managed to find a karaoke bar in Copenhagen.

Beca checked her phone for a second around 2AM, there was an email from her boss. She stepped outside the bar for a second to read the long email properly. He'd sent her demo to some people, and they were interested. She heard the door of the bar swing open and a warm hand on her shoulder, the dimly lit street was light and cool, and Northern European summer night.

"Hey, what's up?"

"I just got this email from my boss!" cried Beca, thrusting her phone into Chloe's face while she quickly scanned the message. She smiled with yell the second her eyes passed over the words of the email, "I guess all of your dreams are coming true!"

"This says that they've got a residency for me booked out there to meet with some writers and do some demos. This label wants to try me with some of their young artists."

Chloe wrapped her arms around the smaller girl, "I'm so proud of you Beca." She slowly pulled out of the hug looking on, brilliant blue eyes shining at Beca.

After all this time, after all these years, she still felt herself light up when she saw her. Studying Beca's face, every curve and turn, trying not to come off as too creepy, she felt the twitch in her hands-the desire to run her hands down that body, to feel those legs, and run her hands through her hair. She took a slow breath trying to calm herself down, but all she could think about were the lips that she'd barely touched that night so many weeks ago in the wood around the campfire. She felt the ache inside her. She'd kissed Beca that night so that she could know, so she could move on. But it had lit something in her, a fire that for a while had been a controlled glow. Tonight while they were singing, she felt the fire blazing, burning bright, eating her inside with an ache-sucking al the oxygen out of her body as she struggled to take a breath. They rushed back into the club where Beca shared her news with everyone else. Everyone cheered, and Beca bought another round for everyone as they raised their glasses to toast to Beca.

 _When tomorrow comes, when tomorrow comes._

Beca's eyes scanned around the room where all of her closest friends, her family was gathered, all the people she loved. She caught smiled when she caught Chloe's eye, who felt a pang inside as she saw Beca's eyes leave her to turn to her boyfriend standing next to her proud and beaming. They all cheered, downed their drinks, then Beca turned to kiss Jesse, who lifted her up into the air and spun her around joyfully.

Beca was with Jesse; she had been for years, and it didn't seem like anything was going to change anytime soon. The boy had even bought himself a transatlantic plane ticket just to support them in the Worlds. Chloe looked over at Jesse, she knew that he was probably up to something. Everyone in Georgia knew that it was ring by spring and wedding bells the year after.

She needed to move on. It was an end of an era, she needed to let go of Beca, the way she was letting go of the Bellas and letting go of Barden.

* * *

When Beca awoke in the morning in her hotel room, or was it morning? She couldn't really tell how long she'd been sleeping, it had been a long night, and they had fallen asleep just as the sun had started to rise. She remembered Jesse had collapsed next to her on their bed, but as she felt around for him, she noticed the bed was cold. She heard the sound of the door opening, and she flipped over, sitting up, pushing the hair out of her face to see Jesse standing at the foot of the bed, holding a tray in his hand. On the tray was a small vase with a single red rose, a mimosa, and a waffle with whipped cream and strawberries. She looked up at him and smiled, opening her mouth to ask, "What is this?"

He walked over to her, as she shifted to sit up. He gently placed the tray over her legs to sit snuggly, answering, "What does it look like, breakfast, for my girl. My world champion."

She raised an eyebrow, putting a finger in the whipped cream quickly slipping it into her mouth, "Thanks peasant." Jesse leaned over to give her a kiss before sitting down at the foot of the bed. She started to cut into waffle-"you know, we're not in Belgium, but this is probably the closest we've actually ever been to an actual waffle in Belgium"

Jesse chuckled lightly, his eyes hadn't left her, watching her every moment, as she took a forkful of waffle and put it into her mouth before cutting another piece to put into his. After he'd given the waffle a quick chew and swallow, Jesse opened his mouth, "So I've been thinking..."

"Yes, you weirdo?"

"Just about our future. You know, now that graduation and the Worlds are over, what that will look like for us."

"Okay Dad."

Jesse gave her mildly amused look.

Beca shifted, sitting silently, staring at her waffle as she took a sip of her mimosa and continued to cut into her very delicious waffle, her heart starting to quicken. She could feel a dancing in her stomach, something was coming. She heard Jesse take a deep stuttering breath.

"... and you, well, the last three years have been such a gift, you are everything I could ever have hoped for, everything I dreamed in a girl-smart, funny, talented, musical, and beautiful. I've been trying to find the right moment this trip, and as everything's changing, I want you to know that I'm here, that I love you, support you, and I'm not leaving. I want to build a life with you, I want you to be the mother of my children. I want us to build a life and a family. I want a future, I want the rest of my life, forever."

Then he got up from the foot of the bed, took a step towards her, and got down on one knee, pulling a box from his pocket, and opened it to show a diamond ring,"Beca, will you marry me?"

She felt all the blood drain from her face into her chewing chewing stomach. Her heart dropped. She looked into Jesse's brown eyes and his face-open, vulnerable, and staring so lovingly at her, waiting for her answer. She couldn't move, she was frozen. A thousand questions ran through her mind, each one pushed the other out before it was capable of being answered.

All of it was too much to process.

The longer she sat there frozen, the more the smile on Jesse's face faltered, and the hope started to slip from his eyes until it looked like her was about to cry, and he began to croak out, "Beca-" and she snapped out of her stupor, "I, Jesse, I love you, but I need some time to think about this."

Jesse snapped the box close, jumping back quickly, he was well versed in the language of Beca now, and he knew he couldn't push it, he needed to give her the space she was asking for, his words tumbling out of him in his attempt to reassure her, apologies, to make sure she wasn't spooked, "I totally understand, there's a lot going on right now with all the changes, and I'm sorry I sprung this on you. You take the time you need to think about this." He gently placed the ring box on the tray in front of her. "You can just hold onto that for now, maybe try it on? See how it feels, no pressure."

He was shaking, but he leaned down and kissed her on the forehead in an attempt to reassure himself and her. Beca turned back to the half eaten waffle on the plate, then looked back at Jesse with a weak smile, "This was all very sweet and romantic, and thank you. Will you help me finish this waffle?"

Jesse sat down beside her, still fighting the uncertain churning in his own stomach as he took a bite. They sat there, trying to find anything else to talk about and fill the now huge elephant filling the room. As soon as they finished the food, Jesse made an excuse about leaving to go back to his room with Benji to start packing up for their flight that evening, and also to leave Beca to take care of her own things.

Beca started to silently gather her things scattered throughout the room, as she gathered her thoughts. She imagined a little house in the suburbs of Atlanta, her and Jesse with some kids and a piano in the living room, tire swing on the tree outside. It was a pretty picture. She thought about his sweet smile. She thought about LA and her residency, about her career, about the music. She thought about forever.

She was on the plane. She had originally been placed to have a seat next to Jesse, but she knew she couldn't take a transatlantic plane ride with him twitching besides her still waiting for an answer. She got Emily to trade with her, who was glad to be able to be sitting next to Benji and found herself next to Chloe again.

The redhead noticed something was bearing upon the brunette's mind. Beca was usually quiet, but this was different. There was no laptop this time, but the same playlist played again and again on repeat for 10 hours as Beca stared out the window. She didn't know what it was that was bothering Beca, after all, they had just won the most competitive acapella competition in the world, and was getting ready to go to LA and chase her dream like she always had. Chloe reached across to Beca's hand that was laying on the armrest between them and took it in her own, giving it an affectionate squeeze in an attempt to comfort her best friend. It said, "You don't need to tell me anything, but I'm here."

Beca felt Chloe's hand on hers, and she didn't pull away. She felt so isolated in that moment, knowing that this was no one's choice but hers, but Chloe's hand was there reaching out to her from the fog. She was a small liferaft floating in a dark foggy ocean. She felt her fingers interlacing with her own on her right, and she felt the ring box against her leg in her left jean pocket, each pulse begging for a question, as she relived every moment of her relationship with Jesse from the beginning...

* * *

AN: hit my stride today guys. story is starting to get juicy. so excited to finish the next few chapters I got cooking, hopefully will have another one out this week!

Lyrabird


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Three days had passed since they'd returned to the United States. Beca had spent the first day back recovering from the jet lag sleeping. She would not have admitted it to herself, but the truth is she was also avoiding Jesse because she still didn't have an answer. Finally, she had given him a call. Jesse had been perfect this entire period, he hadn't pressed her or pushed her at all. He'd given her space. It proved to her what she already knew about him—that Jesse knew her and loved her as she was and would never force to be anything she wasn't.

Lying in her bedroom staring up at the ceiling, she thought back to their unlikely courtship. As someone who'd always seen the people who said they loved her ultimately leave her when things got tough, he'd proven himself to be loyal. She'd spent months pushing him away, and he had been there for her. He'd stuck it through. She closed her eyes remember the moment after they'd won Nationals that she had run up to him and kissed him. She touched her lips, tracing the memory with her fingers, breathing deeply.

She thought to the holidays she'd spent with his family, getting to know his parents and sister. Jesse's parents were high school sweethearts, they'd been married for 25 years and were still in love. They lived on a farm outside of Atlanta with horses, meadows, and forest in a house his father had designed and built himself. She saw his hopeful face shining at her through the darkness of her room, asking, waiting, and hoping like he always had. Jesse was the tall dark and handsome prince, he sang, he danced, he was kind, patient, musical, and supportive he was everything a girl could hope for.

Her mind was turning it over again and again in her mind, kneading the dough. As she folded her thoughts over again, rounding on the future, Beca heard the door to her room open.

Stirred from her thoughts, she raised her head up, expecting to see Fat Amy barging through the door to their room, but it wasn't. Instead of a confident swing, she watched the door hesitantly creak open, and instead of a blonde head, she saw a redheaded come through it.

"Hey," whispered Chloe, who didn't dare to come in, opting to lean against the open doorframe for the moment.

"Oh hey, Chloe," croaked Beca, speaking the first words she had all day, "what's up?"

"I, uh, just hadn't see you all day, and I was starting to worry about you. You've been kind of quiet since the Worlds. Have you been in here all day?" inquired Chloe, giving a quick look to the curtained windows that were glowing with the orangish hues of sunset.

"Yeah" replied Beca with a sign, gesturing to Chloe to come in and sit on her bed. Relieved to be given the permission to enter, closing the door behind her, Chloe plopped herself down on the bed, leaning back against the foot of it, facing Beca who was opposite, back to the headboard. The two sat there for a few minutes in silence before Beca opened her mouth and closed it a couple times—trying to figure out what exactly to say to Chloe. She took a deep breath and unable to look up and meet the bright blue eyes staring at her muttered, "the morning before we flew back to the States from Copenhagen, Jesse surprised me with breakfast in bed, and he asked me to marry him."

Chloe felt her heart sinking at the words, but before she could even begin to think how to respond, she heard Beca take another breath, swallowed and said, "but I still haven't given him an answer."

She reached over to her nightstand where the dark blue velvet ring box was still sitting, waiting for an answer, and grabbed it, opening it to show Chloe, who slowly took it in her hands, staring at the ring as if she were holding a bomb.

Chloe was speechless with shock, the only words she could find in that moment was an obvious and true statement though the words fell flat on the messy bedspread: "It's a beautiful ring."

They sat for a few more minutes in silence before Chloe found a few more words floating on the emotional hurricane that was raging inside, "Do you love him?"

Beca finally looked up to meet the inquiring eyes, "Yes, I do. But I don't know if I'm ready to say yes to forever with him. I'm so young, and I still have so much more to accomplish, I guess I never thought that this would happen so soon. "

Chloe bit her lip. Beca was her best friend, and she had already accepted that she didn't belong to her, despite her feelings that she had decided to let go of that she was trying to so hard to follow through with. She wanted what was best for Beca, she wanted what would make Beca happy in the long run. She didn't trust herself in that moment to give advice one way or another. She took a couple slow shaky breaths before grabbing Beca's left hand in both of hers, squeezing them gently. She leaned forward, kissing her best friend on the forehead and whispering, "I can't make this decision for you, but you need to think about the future you're building, and if Jesse is that future you want." Before standing up from the bed and walking back towards the door, trying to hold at bay her own tears that were starting to well in her eyes.

She muttered the next few words to Beca with her back turned because she knew that if Beca looked her in the eye, she would see the tears falling from her face, "Whatever happens Beca, I love you."

Chloe closed the door behind her and walked down the stairs back to her own room. She locked her bedroom door as she slid down it on her back. She buried her face in her knees as sobs began to heave in her chest.

Beca sat in her now dark bedroom, face in the pillow, replaying Chloe's words in her head again and again. An hour later, she texted Jesse to meet her in the morning for coffee.

* * *

There was a heaviness between the couple as they sat down at the local coffee shop the next morning. The sky was overcast, a grey day. But despite that a dull white light shone through the large open windows, causing both of them to squint a little. They each held a small steaming cup between their hands. Beca looked up through the steam at Jesse. He looked so good, so beautiful, so perfect in front of her.

"Jesse, you've been so good to me. As I've thought over your proposal these last few days, that's the thing I keep coming back to."

"You've been so good to me Jesse, because of that I don't want to be dishonest. You've been there for me, you've been more and done more than I ever could've asked. But I'm not ready to say yes. I don't want to be a wife right now."

She took out the ring box from her pocket and played with it.

Jesse looked from the box to Beca's face and asked, "Do you need more time?"

Beca spun the box on a corner and muttered, "The thing is, I don't know if it's that I need more time. I don't know if I'll ever be ready, but Jesse, I don't want to make you wait around for me to figure that out, it's not fair to you."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes, I love you."

"Then what's wrong, tell me what I can to make it right!"

"Jesse, I don't know that there's anything else you can do. You've been perfect. Which is why I don't know why I can't just say yes. Shouldn't I want to say yes? Shouldn't you deserve someone who doesn't hesitate who knows, who says yes before you even finish asking the question?"

Jesse was wordless, he opened his mouth only to close it, the pain etched across his face was cutting into Beca's heart.

"Chloe said that I should think about the future-"

"-what does Chloe have to do with any of this?"

"She and I were talking last night, but that's not the point Jesse. The point is that I thought about it for a long time, and I don't think I'm ready to write in stone that part of my life yet. This isn't how I imagined it, I've barely started my music career, it's just. I don't know that this is what I want, but I know this: that you deserve someone who wants this with you, and if I can't be the person to give it to you..."

"Beca, are you breaking up with me?"

"I don't know. Jesse, I DON'T know. I wish I could know, for your sake." yelled Beca, her voice cracking a little at the end into a small sob as she buried her face in her hands.

"It's just not fair to you, and I think we should just take some time apart. I'm going to LA for a week in a few days for that residency that Residual Heat booked for me. Let's talk more when I get back okay?"

And so Beca found herself on a plane again, crossing the country. It was not the most glamorous experience, but she was excited and hopeful. She'd written with a few promising pop acts. Her boss had made it clear that these writing sessions were all part of an attempt to court some more business for the studio. She hit it off with one duo in particular, they were a husband wife duo called LES. They had gotten along really well with Beca and had decided (along with their manager) to go to Atlanta to record a small EP featuring the handful of songs they had co-written with Beca at Residual Heat.

Beca hadn't found herself this excited since that first time leading the Bellas in the swimming pool her freshman year. She felt it in her heart, and there was something about the duo's voices weaving together in harmony that reminded her of all the piece that she had done for the Bellas, but different in a way to provide a new challenge. She'd had a few late nights demoing the songs with LES or Dave and Eve as they had introduced themselves to her. She had put the thought of the boy she'd left back in Georgia to the back of her mind, digging into the synthesizers and beats that she was working to craft.

She reflected on the week she'd had as she sat in the airport, looking out the window of LAX at the runway covered with planes taxiing to the gates when her phone rang. She looked down and saw Chloe's face on the screen and picked up the call, "Hello?"

"Hey big shot! How was your week in LA? Haven't heard from you at all while you've been gone. Things busy?"

"Yeah! Really good, I got this artist to agree to come back to Atlanta to record an EP with me. I'm actually at the airport right now, going to be home in a few hours"

"Awesome! I can't wait to see you and hear about it! Do you have a ride home from the airport?"

"Oh, I was just planning on taking a taxi, but if you're offering, that would be great."

"Beca, of course, you should've just asked."

"Sorry, I've just been out of it with everything with Jesse, and then trying to not screw up this trip."

"Gotcha, where did you guys leave things? I mean, after we talked, we haven't..."

"-yeah, sorry about that. I told him that I couldn't say yes. It was kind of complicated, " Beca took a deep breath, "I just think that he deserves more, he deserves someone who says yes without hesitating right? I just, can't be that for him. I told him that even though he doesn't want to break up that we should probably take a break."

"Ah, I see. Do you feel like you're doing the right thing?"

"I... guess. No, yes. I mean, yes I do think I'm doing the right thing. It just felt so wrong when I was looking into his eyes telling him, and I could see his heart breaking. But I thought about what you said about the future, and I think that this might be the right decision in the long term for us."

At that moment an announcement from the gate started calling passengers to get in line to beginning boarding.

"-hey Chloe, I think its time for me to get on my flight, so we'll talk more soon? I got to get in line and stuff."

"Yeah, sure Beca, just text me when you land, and I'll see you soon. Bye."

Beca hung up her phone and picked up her bags, heading to the gate.

Thousands of miles away, Chloe sat, blinking, trying to calm her breathing. It was still too soon to tell with Beca and Jesse, but she couldn't stop the hope that was swelling inside of her. She didn't want to see Beca heartbroken, but deep inside she knew that ultimately she didn't think the two were right for each other for all the selfish and selfless reasons she didn't dare to name.

Hours later, at the airport, Chloe got out to greet Beca, giving her a tight hug. They spent the ride back to the Bella house talking all about LA, and the amazing trip Beca had. It was everything that she had ever hoped, and she was so proud of the music that she had been making.

Beca spent the next week preparing for Dave and Eve to come, sketching out pre-production notes and honing some of the tracks that they'd started back in LA. The next two weeks recording were everything she'd ever hoped for. One night, Chloe visited the three of them in the studio. She'd baked some cookies, and Beca had been looking for an opportunity for Chloe to finally meet them. They had been taking a break. Dave had taken a step outside for a moment to take a call with their manager. They exchanged a few pleasantries as Beca introduced Chloe; Eve declared that Dave was in love with the treats that Chloe had been sending with Beca, and that it was so great to finally meet the masterbaker they'd been so thankful to. Turning to Chloe excitedly, Beca asked, "Do you want to hear what we've been working on today?" Beca's face was beaming with pride. "Of course!" replied Chloe, as Beca turned to the computer and hit play. A beautiful but upbeat love song emitted from the giant speakers in the wall in front of them.

Chloe was smiling at the ground, as the song turned into the chorus she looked up at Beca, then turned to Eve, "You guys sound great!"

"Oh well, we've got to thank Beca for the production on this! We've never heard our music come alive in this way before. It's a great fit."

"It's a lot of talent shoved into a tiny person isn't it?" laughed Chloe.

"Definitely" Eve replied.

"Out of curiosity, you two are married right? What came first? Were you a couple first or did you start making music first?" inquired Chloe curiously.

"Oh, well, it depends who you ask. I started playing music with Dave when I was dating this other guy. When he tells the story, he says that from the moment we first sang together he knew. But we were friends for the longest time."

Something softened in Chloe's eyes, "That's beautiful."

"There's something to be said for it all. It took us a long time to get here, but once we did I knew. I remember when we first went out on a date, I was nervous, but by the end of the night, I realized that all those years had told me everything I needed to know, and that this was the man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I knew I wanted to marry him right there and then." Eve smiled. "I know this one over here" she said gesturing to Beca, "has a mess of a love life right now, but what about you? Anyone special?"

Beca looked away scratching her head, "Something might have come up about Jesse one really late night after some whiskey.."

Chloe shifted in her seat a little, "Um... There's someone special I guess, but I'm not sure that it's really going anywhere. Mostly, I'm just really single at this point" She said chuckling, trying to casually throw off the conversation.

"I can see I have trod where angels dare not tread! What about helping me convince Beca to move out to LA? She tells me it's been her dream forever, and even though she's got this hook up here at this studio, I can tell Beca that if you come to LA you'll find plenty of work in no time. We have so many friends who are looking for just the kind of skills you have. You should just make the move! Don't know what your plans are either Chloe, but why not right, can't lose our master baker?!"

Beca smiled, "You make a lot of good points, but I kind of have a job here right now, and I worked so hard to get here, I'm not sure that I'm ready to throw it all away right now."

" I see your point, " replied Eve, "but I'm telling you that you've got to get out from under this place. You're good, which is why they're keeping you around, but one day very soon you're going to cap out here, and it won't be enough. If you come out to LA you can start building up your own client base, your own career, and your own studio instead of working under this place. It gave you an introduction which you have now, but I just don't want to see a talented woman like yourself stick around working for an old guard man just because it's comfortable. We need more women like you working on the production side."

At that moment Dave walked back in, putting his phone in his pocket, "Hey girls-" "Oh yes, sorry Dave, this is my friend Chloe, the baker of the legendary cookies!" "Chloe, so nice to meet you finally! Ladies, I have some very good news, Charlie- our manager" he exclaimed turning to Chloe and then back to Eve and Beca, "has passed some of the demos and monitor mixes from the last week onto a couple labels that are really excited."

"Dude that's awesome!" yelled Beca, standing up to give Dave a high five.

"Not only that," continued Dave, "but Charlie has been very impressed with you and the work you've done. He's gotten a lot of inquiries about you from some of the people he's been playing stuff for."

"See!" exclaimed Eve, "I told you! Just another reason you should move out to LA. You need to follow up with this stuff."

"I'll definitely have to strongly consider your offer!" laughed Beca as Dave walked over to a bottle of whiskey and started pouring four shots for everyone.

"This is a toast to our future darling," as he passed a glass to his wife, "the music" as he passed one to Beca, "and to the cookies, which have been a source of divine inspiration to everyone in this room" said Dave as he passed one to Chloe winking, "Cheers!"

All four of them threw it back with a yell and a cough.

The rest of the night turned into a blur as they celebrated their mutual good news.

* * *

The rest of the week passed in a joyful blur of music. Dave and Eve even brought Chloe in a few more nights and invited her to sing with them on a few tracks, becoming fast friends. Chloe and Beca ended up driving them to the airport, and as Eve closed the door before heading in at the curb looked Beca in the eye and said, "No more excuses. Just do it. Next time I see you, I want to see you in LA because you've decided to suck it up and just move your ass there. Okay?"

Beca smiled, "Okay."

Eve looked at Chloe, "Bye bae. It's been a pleasure! You know you're always welcome as well!"

Chloe laughed, "as long as I bring the cookies?"

Eve winked, "you know it!"

The two former Bellas gave their goodbyes and watched the happy couple head towards security hand in hand.

As they pulled away from the airport, Beca spoke, "You know, they're right. About moving. I've been thinking about it for the last few weeks. I think the only thing holding me back was Jesse, but Chloe, when did I become the kind of girl that lets a boy get in the way of her dreams?"

Chloe squirmed in her seat, keeping her eyes straight ahead on the road as she continued to drive.

Beca continued to talk, "If we're meant to be, we'll be. Just because Jesse gave up on his dreams doesn't mean I should. I think he was the only real thing that was stopping me, and I can't stop. You know how you mentioned your sisters wedding is coming up. I think we should do it, we should go to the wedding, we should take a road trip out there, we should just do it and move! Eve is right, what do we have to lose? We're young, when are we going to have the chance to do something crazy like this again? It's not like we can't ever come back if things don't work out, but what if they do!"

Chloe laughed, hardly daring to look over at the brunette, giddy with excitement in the passenger seat. She felt her face stretching into a huge smile, eyes sparkling, her heart beating in her chest, "You're right? I'm in!"

* * *

They had a week to sell and pack their things from the Bella house and fit them into Chloe's car. They were giving themselves a week to do 32 hour drive to LA wanting to take the time to explore on their great American road trip. They were going to stay at Chloe's sister's for the first two weeks after the wedding, while she was gone on her honeymoon until they could find their own apartment. Dave and Eve had also offered them their guest room as an option.

It was the day before Chloe and Beca were set to leave. Beca was packing some the last few things so that everything would be ready when they left in the morning when Jesse walked up.

After a few awkward greetings and some silence, Jesse blurted out, as if he couldn't keep it all inside anymore, "So does this mean we're over? You're just going to pick up and move to LA?"

"For now? I guess Jesse. I just can't wait anymore delaying something I know that I need to do for something I'm not sure that I want to do, and I know that hurts, but you know that I love you, and I just want you to be happy. You need to figure out what you want apart from me, same as I need to go chase those things that I want without you."

"This is so crazy, I can't believe Chloe convinced you to do this..."

"-Listen Jesse, Chloe didn't do anything, don't be angry at her okay? It actually wasn't even her idea, it was mine. It's always been my idea to go to LA, you knew that from the beginning, so don't make this about her taking me away from you. I never belonged to you."

Jesse swallowed, unable to look Beca in the eye, "I always had this feeling, but I never thought about it, I guess I tried not to think about it. I wanted to believe that if I did everything right, you'd.."

"I'd what? Be someone different, want something different than I've always been? I think we're both kidding ourselves there."

"Beca, I can't force you to be with me, I learned that in the beginning, and I get it." Jesse leaned in to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and with one last squeeze, "Well you know, here's looking at you kid."

* * *

AN: sorry if there's a bunch of mistakes, I was kind of rushing to finish this at the end, and didn't have time to proofread it closely before publishing it!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

* * *

 **Road Trip - Day 1**

They hit the road bright and early, Chloe decided to drive the first part of the trip. As they pulled onto I-20 west towards Birmingham and settled into the groove of things, Beca DJ'd their music choices, a variety of upbeat but still mellow music as they watched the hills of Georgia roll into Alabama. Beca was quiet, lost in thought. She kept seeing the last four years of her life playing over in her head like a bad film. She saw Jesse that first day from the cab. She saw her father standing in her dorm room lecturing her. She saw her Bellas auditions. She saw herself stacking CDs at the radio station, hoping for the slightest chance or opportunity.

The white dashes zoomed beneath her. So much had changed, if only that Beca could have seen her now; she was doing everything she had ever hoped, maybe even more than she could ever have hoped. But now something sunk down inside of her, why couldn't she be happy about it all. She couldn't celebrate because she was worried-worried about finding other clients, writing more songs, finding a good place to live, and Jesse.

She wondered, soft music still rolling along with the sway of the car on the highway. An old song played from her mix-

 _...what if I left you half just to keep me whole_

How often does one just find someone who loves you, even though you hate movies and people.

How often does one find a good guy these days, one that isn't a douchebag?

She'd told him that she didn't know, but does anyone ever know or is love just about taking a chance and committing to making it work. What if she was settling and what if she was being unrealistic.

 _There's no easy way to know_

 _If I'm looking back or I'm getting close_

 _What if the closest I get to the moment is now_

She looked over at Chloe sitting next to her humming along to the song and everything felt like it was slowing down-like moving underwater. She was in the middle of nowhere, suspended in animation, hurtling down the highway everything around her a blur. Beca became hyper conscious of the fact that all the cars were moving together in sync on the verge of destruction, and all it would take is for one slip out of a lane for one of them, and they would all be dead. _Oblivion, we're all just a twitch away._

 _Love it has no guarantees which_ _muse will lay its hands on me_

This did little to reassure the growing existential crisis inside of her. She could feel the lump in her throat rising. She knew the drowning feeling was coming, on the cusp of the black cloud of fear. She took a deep breath, trying to slow its arrival, to calm herself and her body down. She looked over and saw Chloe; her red hair reflecting the beams of the sun, a halo around her head. The rising flood held off for a second. Chloe turned and caught Beca's eye and smiled. Beca took another deep slow breath and felt her panic washing back out like the tide on the shore.

At least if they were all hurtling towards oblivion she wasn't alone.

"You okay?"

Beca felt the rushing in her ears die down, she swallowed, narrowing her eyes trying to find the right combination of words-something honest but perhaps not as blunt as the whole truth of it all.

"Just thinking"

"Yeah?" replied Chloe, with a gentle hand on her leg.

Teetering on the precipice of everything falling apart before her, Beca took a deep breath and mentally took a step back, trying to create emotional distance between her and her thoughts, her problems, or at least the illusion of distance.

"Yeah."

"A lot has happened in the last few days, last few weeks. It's okay to feel overwhelmed."

Beca considered for a moment, biting her lip, was she feeling overwhelmed? Did what she was feeling count as overwhelmed? She looked down at her hands, one of which had settled on top of Chloe's. It turned beneath hers, so they were palm to palm, and laced their fingers together. She looked back up at Chloe, "I'm not sure what I'm experiencing necessarily counts as overwhelmed. I guess I'm wondering if I made the right decision?"

"Moving to LA?"

"Um.. maybe a little bit that, but I was thinking about Jesse"

"Gotcha."

The two girls fell silent after that, the sweeping strings of the song carrying them away, filling the quiet that had settled between them.

Beca lost track of time and space as the world sped by and the light flickered around the halo. She was lost in the warmth flowing from the sunshine pouring down upon them and the darkness of her own thoughts. Time passed, though Beca had no sense of anything but the changing light and roadside blurs; they were approaching Birmingham when they decided to take a pee and coffee break and switch. Beca was going to drive the next leg of the trip.

Chloe set them off after that with some 90's R&B jams to reenergize them, keeping them going as they drove through Birmingham and headed towards Memphis where they had decided to spend the night.

It was almost time for lunch, so Beca decided it was time to take a break from the singing to turn and ask Chloe, "Alright Captain, this can go one of two ways. We can play it safe and eat something from a chain or we can go a little off the beaten path and try something local and potentially awesome or potentially terrible."

Chloe watched Beca who had been staring straight ahead as she had addressed Chloe, eyes focused on the road ahead. Upon hearing Beca's words, a small smile slipped across Chloe's face, the smallest dimple peaking out as she looked on the brunette, the pleasure radiating from her eyes at being given said option.

"Hmmm... We should consider that we are pretty much in the middle of nowhere between Alabama and Mississippi right now, so I think if we choose option one we'll have to wait at least until we get closer to Tupelo. I also think that we need to take advantage of being in the middle of nowhere Mississippi right now because we will not have the chance to eat actual Southern food like this once we get to LA. Plus, I think you could use a little adventure right now to put some pep in your step."

"So I take it, the more redneck the better right now?

Choking out a response over her laughter Chloe shouted out, "Yes! LET'S DO THIS!"

They kept their eyes peeled and getting off at the next exit, decided they would explore a little to see what they could find. They drove for only a mile or so when they found an old gas station with crank pumps and a shack with smoke coming out the back right next to it labeled, "Howlin BBQ".

Both grinning, they pulled over, knowing this was the perfect place. An old bearded man stood at the order window as they walked up to look at the menu, which was nailed to the right. After ordering, they stood outside in the hot Mississippi summer sun, stretching their legs while they waited for their food. Chloe was filling up the tank, enjoying the quaintness of the outdated pump. They both took the opportunity to relive themselves in the surprisingly clean gas station's restroom. Then they grabbed their barbecue sandwiches and got back in the car. As they popped fresh bits of fried okra into their mouths and sped back onto the road, Beca turned to Chloe, who was now driving, and asked, "Do you think you'll miss it? The South?"

Chloe took a bite and chewed it, thinking for a minute before speaking, "i think there's things I'll miss about it, but a lot I'll be glad to leave behind. Georgia was a learning experience, I think I'll have Chick-fil-a withdrawals sometimes, but I've got everything I really need here with me. I can live without the sweet tea and the cornbread. I'm sure I'll miss the food, but I won't miss the football. I'll miss Barden and the Bellas, but I have you which will be a big help. What about you?"

Beca also pondered for a moment, "I don't know so much about the South. I guess it's just the people I'm leaving behind I worry about. I mean, yes Jesse is a part of that, but it's not just him, it's everyone."

"Except me"

"Yes, except you Chloe." replied Beca in a fake exasperated voice, punching Chloe in the shoulder.

They'd been driving for a while, both taking the time to dive into their own thoughts when Chloe looked back over at Beca who had dozed off, her head propped against the window she'd been staring out of for the last hour.

* * *

Beca woke up when they were about half an hour outside of Memphis, it was around 3 in the afternoon. They opted to visit the legendary Sun Records over Graceland. The two walked around the studio tour, learning about Elvis, Sam Phillips, Johnny Cash, and all the other iconic music that had been recorded in Sun Studios. Then washing up in their hotel room before picking a blues bar to hit up on Beale Street for drinks and dinner.

They left the bar a few hours later, smiling, standing outside, talking about the music and all their ideas, opinions, and thoughts the way back to the motel. They fell asleep that night, two bodies on a queen sized bed, separated by an invisible line between the two.

 **Day 2**

The two woke at 8AM the next day, reasonably early, all things considered. It was seven hours to Oklahoma City, two to Little Rock. The two discussed the day's routing over coffee and donuts.

"I think we can do it." said Beca over a full mouth of a cruller, "We can totally make it to Oklahoma by tonight."

Chloe smiled, "I know we CAN, but we have plenty of time, we don't need to rush, it's not a big deal. Everything's not a competition or a race Beca, we can SAVOR our time."

After they finished their breakfast, they headed back to the motel to check out and gather their things. They were on the road by 9:30. As they headed out of Memphis, they saw the sun shining on the Mississippi River. They had been driving for about an hour and a half and were still in good cheer, the sun was still shining and the buzz from their coffees had not worn off. As they approached Little Rock, Beca had been looking at her phone looking up things to do or see in Little Rock and reading them aloud to Chloe as she drove.

After listening to Beca for a while Chloe asked, "Do you think we should stop for lunch while we're here? It doesn't seem like there's much else to do. I mean, we could drive straight through and eat a later lunch, but I kind of want to see the city a little if we're going to pass through."

Beca eyed the clock on the dashboard, and her stomach gave a well timed growl surprisingly audible over the rumble of the highway.

Chloe's gentle laugh tumbled out of her mouth, "I guess that answers the question for us."

Beca smiled and looked back down at her phone, she was looking up restaurants, "I vote for this place named world famous fried chicken, in theme with the fact that we did not get Chick-Fil-A yesterday."

"Okay Beca, but if we keep eating like this, we're going to need to start doing voluntary cardio, or at least get a workout in tonight wherever we're staying"

"No guarantees"

They routed their way into the city from the interstate and found a parking spot. They walked into the chicken place which was filling up quickly, after a few minutes waiting they sat down at a table, a waitress coming over and giving them their menus. They placed their orders before long and took the opportunity to people watch a little before their food came. When it finally did, both were silent, savoring the deep fried goodness.

A few minutes later, in the midst of thoroughly enjoying themselves, their very pretty and friendly waitress came by to check on them.

"How are you guys liking the food?"

"It's awesome! We're loving it so much. I'm so glad that we stopped here in Little Rock to eat here!" replied Chloe cheerily.

"Oh yeah, are you guys on your way to somewhere?" inquired Carla, her green eyes sparkling, as she flipped her hair and smiled back at Chloe.

"We're going to LA," coughed out Beca. Carla turned, shifting her attention over to Beca ,"The two of us are moving there, we just graduated from Barden University in Georgia and we're taking a week long cross country road trip."

"We're only on our second day," grinned Chloe, "You have any suggestions for us here in Little Rock?"

The waitress paused for a second, considering it, "Do you guys like whiskey?"

Chloe looked Carla in the eye and raised a brow in challenge, "What do you think?'

"I think you're the kind of girl that can hold her own." said Carla with a wink back at Chloe who giggled. Beca cleared her throat and spoke over the laughter in a matter of fact voice, "Yes, I do lke whiskey."

Turning back over to Beca, Carla said, "Well, there'a a great distillery here, I think it's the first legal one in Arkansas after prohibition. It's not too far from here if you want to check it out."

Chloe looked over at Beca pout on her face, "Can we check it out? That sounds like something that maybe would be great to SAVOR today, doesn't it?"

Beca turned back to Carla, "Do you know what time it opens? We're going to try and make it to Oklahoma City tonight, and I want to make sure that this one doesn't get too sidetracked on her bunny trails."

"I think it opens soon, you can probably google it. I'm going to go check on this other table, I'll be back in a little if you need anything else."

Beca pulled out her phone and had the distillery's page up in a minute. "It says here that it opens at 1PM, it's 12:30 right now."

"Well after we pay, we can just walk over there! It's such a nice day, and it'll give us a chance to see the city and work off a little bit of that fried chicken we just ate" grinned Chloe.

Beca went to the map function, "It says here it's a mile there!"

"Beca, it is not that far! We should just do it!"

Chloe locked eyes with Beca again and jut her lip out again, pouting.

With a sigh, Beca rolled her eyes and said, "Fine. Can't say no to you anyway, it's like kicking a puppy." Chloe's face broke out in a huge smile-"but Chloe, we can't drink too much, otherwise we'll have to wait too long to get back on the road, and we won't get into Oklahoma City until really late, got it?"

Chloe wrinkled her nose, "Well, it's not MY turn to drive."

Beca sent a deathstare back at at Chloe, "Then you're buying."

At that moment, Carla had come back to the table, "Did you two make a decision?"

Chloe looked back over at Carla smiling widely, "Yes! We're going to go. Thanks so much for your suggestion, I know that I really appreciate it!"

"Not to say that I don't too," grimaced Beca,"but we need our check when you have the chance."

"Yes, this one's in a rush!" chirped in Chloe, still smiling at Carla.

"No problem, I'll be back with the check soon!"

They paid for their food and before long were out the door heading towards the distillery. They caught glimpses of the Arkansas River, cutting through the city. They saw small shops and businesses and also a number of things all dedicated to Bill Clinton. Before long they arrived at the distillery. Peering at the sign on the door, Chloe turned to Beca and said excitedly, "We're in luck! They're doing a tour in 15 minutes!" Beca raised an eyebrow, she was counting how much time they were going to waste on their little detour but said nothing. They walked in and looked around, lining up and embarking on the tour after a few minutes of browsing the bottles lining the shelves.

They were given a few samples on the tour, learning about the history of the distillery and the process of making whiskey. Chloe was glowing a little, having enthusiastically taken every drink offered to her at that point. Beca was enjoying herself, she had taken a few small sips, but was mostly enjoying watching Chloe's antics. She had taken to learning the names of every person in their group and would occasionally mutter one under her breath when her eyes would land on them. At the end of their tour, they headed back to the store part. Beca had decided that Chloe, having tasted a sample of each of the whiskey varieties was going to choose a bottle that the two of them would share and one that they together would gift to Eve and Dave for letting them stay with them.

Bags in hand, the two left the distillery and headed back to the car. Beca had a little more of a spring in her step, hoping their journey back to their car would take less than their walk to the distillery. After a few minutes of the power walking Chloe exclaimed, "For a little person, you sure are walking quickly right now! I thought you were trying to avoid cardio at all cost!"

"Ha. Ha. ha. Chloe. I'm just trying to get back to the car so we can get back on the road, that's all."

"Mmhmm... I gotcha speed racer. You had a good time on our little detour through didn't you?"

"Yes, I did! I'm glad we went, but I am hoping that we'll be able to get going soon. We're behind schedule."

"Beca! There is no schedule! You need to relax, it's going to be fine!"

Before long, they were back at the car and climbing in. They headed out of the city, getting back on the interstate. Chloe was humming along with the music, her head tilted to the passenger window, eyes closed. They'd barely cleared the Little Rock limits when Beca saw that Chloe had fallen asleep. Beca looked at the road sign I-40 West, Oklahoma City. She looked at the clock, it was 3, and they had a five hour drive to Oklahoma City. That meant that the earliest they'd get there was 8ish. Beca could live with that.

She settled into a rhythm with the gentle hum of the road, singing softly not to wake Chloe with the mellow music. Her thoughts turned back to Jesse. For the first time since Jesse proposed, she considered how her parent's divorce and her father's abandonment may have influenced her own feelings and decision in the matter.

She turned her life over in her head, like flipping through chapters of a book. Every once and a while stopping and reading a few pages. The same thoughts kept returning to her. _Who could love me? I turned away the only person who's ever wanted to make a promise to me to stay forever._

She's been driving for about an hour now, and they were successfully driving through the middle of nowhere in Arkansas. Chloe was still sleeping. They had just passed an exit when she noticed that the gas light was on. She had been zoned out for a while and wasn't sure just how long it had been on. As she drove on, she wondered how many miles it would be until they saw another exit. She drummed her fingers nervously on the steering wheel.

Should she wake up Chloe?

Panic was starting to seep through her veins. Maybe it would be fine?

 _Probably not with the way things tend to go for you._

The gentle sleeping peace etched on Chloe's face shone in contrast, casting a shadow in Beca's own heart in doubt. She didn't want to disturb her for what might not be much of a problem at all, if the car could make it to the next exit.

Seconds ticked by, and Beca kept her eyes peeled for a sign for another exit. The seconds turned into minutes that felt like hours. Beca was getting more and more nervous.

Finally, she saw the green and white blob signaling a road sign ahead. As she approached she saw that it said there was an exit in 3 miles. Relief started pouring through her. They only needed to make it 3 miles! But no sooner had she let a sigh of relief leave her body then she felt the car slowing down. She turned off to the shoulder. The bumps of the rumble strips sending ripples through the car and her body. Chloe looked up from her slumber at the sound.

They slowed to a halt. Beca put the car in park and turned to look over at the still sleepy redhead that was staring at her.

"We're out of gas. "

Chloe was sitting up straight now, looking alert, "oh. " she said. Beca could tell that she was trying not to let her disappointment show, and she felt a sinking in her stomach.

"I noticed a bit ago and was going to try and make it to the next exit and get some gas but we didn't make it. I didn't want to wake you unless I needed to. "

"It would've been fine, Beca"

"Well, what do you think we should do? It's not like this time we an just call the Trebles and hitch a ride."

Chloe ran her hand through her hair and looked around, " well, I know you can call AAA and they'll bring you some gas, but we're so far out I wonder how long that'll take."

"There's an exit about two miles ahead. I bet there's a gas station around there. We might be able to walk there and then get a can and bring it back"

"I think that's probably our best bet"

"Uh, so what's the deal here. Do we go together, should one of us guard the car? Not really sure how this works. "

"I'm not completely sure either. I think I'd be a good idea for one of us to stay with the car in case someone comes by and checks on us. Plus all of our stuff is in it, and I don't want someone to steal is? You should definitely turn on the emergency hazard lights. "

"What would I do without you acting as the sane responsible captain Chloe?"

"Starve to death in the middle of Arkansas " laughed Chloe, "I am in the best shape of the two of us, so I can probably make it to the gas station and back the fastest if you're okay with staying with the car?"

"Yeah, sure. Keep your phone on and with you. I don't want you to die in the wilderness either. How's your phone battery?"

"Pretty good. I think I might be gone for about an hour at least depending on how far the gas station is from the exit?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. "

The two hopped out of the car. The highway was deserted. They hadn't seen a single car since they'd pulled over. Chloe grabbed her purse and put on her running shoes from the back and started jogging off down the road. Beca stood on the side of the road watching chloe disappear around the bend after a minute or so. She looked around, bored. She slipped into the passenger side and turned the music back on in the car. With the door open, she stood outside again looking around at the empty space.

They were definitely not going to make it to Oklahoma City tonight. Beca felt a wave of disappointment.

A car whizzed by, it didn't stop. This was an opportunity to stretch her legs she said to herself. So she stared walking ten feet or so and then turning and walking back, kicking pebbles along the way. She was wearing her converse. This past year she hadn't worn them as much, since she was trying to dress up more at the internship, but she was wearing them today. Her mind wandered back to a Halloween where she and Jesse had dressed up as each other for. He had bought his own pair of matching converse for that. It had been a pretty good costume. They had been a pretty good couple.

How had she ended up here, stranded in the middle of nowhere? If it hadn't been for Eve and Dave... If it hadn't been for the internship... If it hadn't been for the Bellas... If it hadn't been for her father forcing her to college.

All of a sudden, Bella felt very alone.

After all these years, she found herself changed from being someone who chose to be alone. Without Jesse's strange persistence she would never have been forced to confront her father. There had been healing there. She never cared, she never needed. She never noticed.

But now she noticed being alone and the fullness of it all hit her. A well of emotion was bursting forth in her. She hadn't chosen to be alone in years. But here she was in a car hurtling away from him, from people, alone on the side of the road. Jesse had been so good for her, and here she was running like she always did.

 _But me I'm not a gamble, you can count on me to split_

 _The love I sell you in the evening in the morning won't exist_

She looked around, as she peered through the car she saw the whiskey. She grabbed the bottle they had bought for themselves and unceremoniously opened it and took a swig straight from the bottle.

She looked at the time. Chloe had been gone half an hour. They had a while, she could sit here with her thoughts and drink for a while.

It's 5 o'clock somewhere. Well, it was just past five o'clock here. The irony was not lost on Beca. But she couldn't find a laugh inside of her, it got swallowed up in her chest, sucked down into an abyss.

She had spent all of her time in high school alone, used to being alone, being okay with alone.

Then she had to go to college and learn to love her friends and a boy and her family and now she was terrified.

 _Was I just braver before and now I got soft?_

 _Or is this what growing up feels like- feeling vulnerable._

 _A series of humiliations you take in stride ? Could I go back to old Beca, should I go back to old Beca ?_

Time went on and Beca continued to stew over everything. When Chloe returned an hour later with a plastic container of gasoline in her hand, she found Beca laying on her back in the grass on the side of the road staring at the sky with the bottle of whiskey in her hand.

For the last quarter of a mile she hadn't seen Beca's figure, hidden on the ground from the distance. As she approached she had slowed cautiously, peering around the empty car only to find Beca, slowly and quietly breathing. She made no motion and said nothing to signal that she had noticed Chloe had returned.

"Beca, are you okay?" Chloe gently asked, noting her friend's tear streaked face and obvious drunkenness.

After about a minute, beca gave a big sigh and croaked, "maybe. Not really sure. Trying to figure that out."

"Did something happen while I was gone?"

"I just had some thoughts, and some whiskey, but nothing happened happened. Some cars drove past without stopping"

"Okay.."

"I probably shouldn't drive. "

"That's fine sweetie. I have about a gallon here. It should get us to the gas station where we can fill up our tank. Why don't you get in the passengers side. We're about an hour from Fort Smith. We can eat dinner and stay there tonight"

Chloe walked over to Beca and offered out her hand to help her up.

Beca lay there for a moment eyes going in and out of focus from the tears she was hoping wouldn't fall from her face. She didn't want Chloe to see her like this. She considered the hand before her. What felt like the split between two futures, two eternities- take the hand or don't. To continue or to stay laying immobilized on the hard but constant ground.

She blinked and lifted her arm to take Chloe's and stood up. Chloe reached for the whiskey bottle and put it back in the bag in the car as Beca stumbled into the passenger side, trying to wipe away the tears she's been able to catch before they fell from her eyes so Chloe wouldn't see.

The two drove in silence, and quickly they arrived in fort smith considering all of the delays that had found themselves in their way that day. They ate a quiet fast food dinner in their motel. Sitting in silence on their bed while the tv played. They both settled into bed quietly, one on each side. After a few more minutes of silence, Beca heard the bed springs creak and Chloe turned to face her back. She felt a gentle hand on her back, rubbing back and forth over the soft material of her t-shirt.

She heard Chloe's voice whisper softly, "I love you. I'm here. I'm not leaving you. "

Beca heard her words fall around her, knives pinning her to the bed - immobilized again. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. It was as if they were on an echo loop in her brain. She couldn't stop replaying it over and over again. That combined with Chloe's gentle touches were enough that she fell quickly into sleep.

* * *

A/n:Sorry it took so long with the update. I think this is the longest chapter I've written to date and there's a lot more stuff coming up in the rest of the story I've been working to hash out details for. Plus research for this! Thanks for reading, would love to read your reviews! Been neck deep in finishing my documentary lately so I haven't had a lot of time to work on this either. I'm hoping it'll take less time to finish the next chapter but no promises!


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